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https://www.theonion.com/cartier-introduces-new-diamond-encrusted-gastric-lap-ba-1851447017

May 15, 2024, 2:13 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/progressive-preschool-abandons-students-in-woods-1851473258

May 14, 2024, 2:12 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/dead-whale-found-on-bow-of-cruise-ship-entering-new-yor-1851470397

May 13, 2024, 2:12 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/u-s-files-serial-numbers-off-missiles-sent-to-israel-1851469761

May 12, 2024, 2:11 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/barron-trump-to-serve-as-florida-delegate-at-rnc-1851470388

May 11, 2024, 2:11 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/petco-announces-all-human-pig-hybrids-on-clearance-1851423150

May 10, 2024, 2:12 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/florida-s-near-total-abortion-ban-by-the-numbers-1851464659

May 9, 2024, 2:12 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/trump-helps-pay-legal-bills-with-new-gig-as-cnn-contrib-1851447186

May 8, 2024, 2:11 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/police-department-defends-decision-to-buy-entire-fleet-1851449724

May 7, 2024, 2:11 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/dad-spends-entire-vacation-asking-how-this-many-people-1851454957

May 6, 2024, 2:13 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/arrests-at-pro-palestinian-college-protests-reach-2-000-1851454991

May 5, 2024, 2:11 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/orangutan-stuns-researchers-by-using-rogaine-to-fix-bal-1851455362

May 4, 2024, 2:12 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/japanese-town-to-build-screen-blocking-tourists-view-o-1851452666

May 3, 2024, 2:12 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/cop-too-drunk-to-administer-field-sobriety-test-1851439453

May 2, 2024, 2:11 PM
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https://www.theonion.com/trump-boys-bake-dad-cake-with-gavel-hidden-inside-1851443925

May 1, 2024, 2:13 PM
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