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@kiwi
Beta tester

male, teenager
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“unfortunately, you’re allergic to the letter e”, said the doctor

“oh,” said the patient, and then he died immediately afterwards because basically the doctor got it wrong and he was actually allergic to the letter o

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the letter E

What starts with an E, ends with an E, but only contains one letter? (ANSWER: An envelope)

president’s log of australia: day 26/30

pretty good day i think :)

president’s log of australia: day 25/30

went to a video game museum thing yesterday

i think that was the first time i’d ever used an actual NES, the controller buttons do not press the way i expected them to haha

in fact every console i used felt off because they were using PAL instead of NTSC

they also had a playstation running parappa the rapper - i told @late that i’d play it when i got the chance but everyone kept using the machine, how dare they have fun without me!

oh also they were displaying a bunch of ouya consoles in one section, that was pretty funny

anyways this might have been the highlight of my trip

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president’s log of australia: day 24/30

why does a research company want me to tell them about video games in exchange for money when they can just google it? are they stupid?

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president’s log of australia: day 23/30

i had canned spaghetti on toast for breakfast today

i was very whelmed

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president’s log of australia: day 22/30

amazon web services died on the way back to their home planet

@leaks legit?

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i started using davinci resolve yesterday and it’s awesome but i’m running into a problem that’s so hard to explain in text that i can’t really find constructive results on google :(

we got kiwi stans before gta 6 🥀

Boy oh boy where do I even begin. @Kiwi... honey, my pookie bear. I have loved you ever since I saw your profile. The way you waste money. Your incredible money wasting abilities. I would do anything for you. I wish it were possible to freeze time so I would never have to watch you quit wasteof. You had a great childhood, and you still never became spoiled. You are even amazing off wasteof, you're a great student and friend, sometimes I even call you dad. I forever weep, thinking of the day you will quit wasteof. I would sacrifice my own life it were the only thing that could put a smile on your beautiful face. You have given me so much joy, and heartbreak over the years. I remember when you first had to go to summer camp for a week and its like my heart got broken into a million pieces. But a tear still fell from my right eye when I saw you leave, because deep down, my glorious king deserved it. I just wanted you to return home. Then allas, you did, my sweet baby boy came home and I rejoiced. 2025 was a hard election for us baby, but alas, you won, and made history happen. You won by three votes, and I couldn't believe it. I was crying, bawling even, and I heard my glorious king exclaim the words, "tallpeter deserved it lmao + bozo, smoking on that oren pack, kiwi party on top" Not only have you changed wasteof and the world forever, but you've forever changed my world. And now you're getting older, but still my goat. I love you pookie bear, my glorious king Kiwi. ☺️♥️🫶🏻

dave plummer try not to say “i made task manager” every other sentence challenge (impossible)

president’s log of australia: day 20/30

“it’s the final countdown! just like they always sung about!”

- soos from gravity falls

now a word of advice for pizza consumers looking to visit this country, from my previous years of experience - don’t bother with australian domino’s. like, at all

i don’t know how exactly their formula is different from the american version, but it tastes so mediocre by comparison. iirc they don’t even use the updated crust formula from 2009 that added that parmesan cheese butter stuff, which is like the best part of their pizza

so yesterday i decided to try australian pizza hut, which it turns out is a thing that exists

and it was… surprisingly good! probably not as good as american pizza hut or american domino’s, but it was absolutely ahead of whatever australian domino’s is doing.

so yeah, if you ever want pizza from a non-existent country that isn’t known for pizza, they’re my recommendation

president’s log of australia: day 19/30 (repost; i wrote this yesterday and shared it to the wom discord when the site was down)

guess i’ll be putting these here until wasteof comes back

anyway i bought and assembled the luxo jr lego set yesterday, was really fun to build and the finished result looks nice

By the power vested in me as President of wasteof.money, I hereby enact the All Politicians Smell Bad Act, protecting citizens’ right to comment on the fragrance of money wasting officials. Yes, that includes me. If you feel the head of the country hasn’t showered in two years, make your voice heard! Shout in the streets and feel comfortable not getting made fun of for your opinions even if they’re completely wrong!

I have spoken.

- President @kiwi

GUYS MY LAST POST I SAID JEFFALO IS STINKY AND HE EDITED IT☹️HE ALSO KEEPS BANNING ME. this is NOT a democracy we can’t criticize our king! we need to take action

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