“unfortunately, you’re allergic to the letter e”, said the doctor
“oh,” said the patient, and then he died immediately afterwards because basically the doctor got it wrong and he was actually allergic to the letter o
when I first saw this post i had slow intranet and the emoji hadn’t loaded yet so all i saw was
i my girlfriend !!!!!!
my girlfriend !!!!!!i got my commission! my very cool new profile picture was made by audacyti - would absolutely recommend her services!
I just commissioned someone for the very first time!!
specifically i commissioned one of my friends to draw me a very cool piece of art to use as my profile picture across the internet going forward! idk when it’ll be done, but it looks like the days of dendyfromokkoletsbeheroeslookingmildlydisappointedatyou.jpeg will be over soon
i am now on discogs so if you want to stalk my weird tastes in music you can now do that i guess
fun fact: if you browse the old minecraft website, notch at one point stated that once sales of the game had dried up he’d release the game under some kind of open source, potentially even public domain
so that old promise has… well not really been fulfilled but it’s the closest we’re realistically going to get
Minecraft just announced that in future updates they will be removing obfuscation. This essentially makes Minecraft, a PAID game, nearly open-source. Crazy that Minecraft became open source before wasteof.money 
Official Response from the Crack House
Dear ikilledtallpeter420,
aaaa so many words!! you are like chat gpt
- President Kiwi
This account has been SEIZED by the KiwiLate Police Department in accordance with an ongoing investigation.
As part of our commitment to transparency, we have released ikilledtallpeter420’s manifesto that reads like gibberish for the public to scoff at.
SPECIAL REPORT FROM THE CRA- actually no i’m not even gonna bother trying to integrate my presidency into this post lol
anyways i got accepted to the scratch youth advisory board!!
president’s log of america: day 1/1
they don’t even use the metric system here, this place sucks
good thing I’ll be back in wasteoftopia tomorrow
president’s log of australia: day 30/30
why i sure do love being in australia, i sure do hope nothing out of the ordinary happens on this particular day oh hey look is that a
SPECIAL REPORT FROM THE CRACK HOUSE
After a really long, boring, and drawn-out saga to catch the terrible individual responsible for murdering @tallpeter in cold blood, me and Late have successfully identified this blight on the wasteof community and would like to invite you to publicly shame them alongside us.
As it turns out, identifying the killer was not easy. We had to sift through a ton of the TallPeter files, some of which we shared with you officially and the rest was… graciously shared publicly by the Wasted Onion without our prior written permission, but we don’t really care. After all, they were just a few random government documents we had lying around, who cares if they get leaked?
Believe us, this was a tough case. The murderer made sure to leave no trace - except they accidentally did, so they didn’t really try that hard. On multiple occasions, our top investigators felt compelled to drop the case entirely, but after being promised more free meatball subs, they persisted.
And now I can finally reveal, after months of talking about this with seemingly no end in sight, that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel. The savage responsible for killing TallPeter in broad daylight is:
@ikilledtallpeter420.
I’m just as shocked as you all are, honestly. Of all the good, upstanding citizens on this website, the one that was arguably a saint up to this point chooses to go through with this unthinkable act.
Oh by the way, yes we made sure to dox them, and don’t worry, they are not hot. Next question.
We have moved ikilledtallpeter420 to KiwiLate Maximum State Penitentiary, and they are officially on death row. I will authorize our Executive Executor @adventuremase to fulfill his one job in a few short days soon, but until then you can feel free to shame this scum of the earth on this wasteof profile. Also, we’re letting you, the wasteof community, decide what ikilledtallpeter420’s last meal should be. I’m thinking an all-you-can-eat nutraloaf buffet… with a side of justice… but if you all want to give him a cake for some sick twisted reason, just make your voice heard on this post and the KiwiLate Kitchen Department will try to accommodate.
Here are some words from Late in regards to this milestone in detective work:
[We regret to inform that Late failed to respond for an interview in time for the publication of this document. They don’t call them Late for nothing, after all. We apologize for the inconvenience. Should they choose to respond, this document will be updated accordingly. - KiwiLate Proofreading and Waffle Distribution Department]
As for me, the president of wasteof dot money, I have been escorted by the KiwiLate Ok Fine We’re Just Making Up Departments Now department to the fastest economy-class plane they could find. Yes, after my unusually long leave of absence, I will finally be returning to the one sane place that is Wasteoftopia and fulfilling my normal obligations. They said this was for “safety” or some dumb new DEI woke thing. Unbelievable!
Thank you all for your support over the course of these past 30 days. I know you all were so worried about me and wanted an easily accessible lifelog because we all know the world revolves around me, but fear not, for KiwiLate, and its accompanying justice system, has returned in all its glory.
Sincerely,
The KiwiLate Administration.
P.S. Someone mailed a bunch of vinyl records to my home address and a ton of money mysteriously disappeared from my wallet over the course of this trip. What’s up with that?
P.P.S. Maybe now Late will finally draw that worm with sunglasses playing the saxophone. Maybe. MAYBE.
After conducting very diplomatic discussions, we at the KiwiLate administration are pleased to welcome @adventuremase as the Executive Executioner of wasteof.money. We can only hope he won’t use his newfound powers anytime soon. Congratulations!
wait i just realized… considering that in deltarune ralsei is a darkner and darkners appear in the form of inanimate objects in the light world, this actually checks out
maybe i should find a closet and throw this stuff in there
president’s log of australia: day 29/30
had a subpar night’s sleep
saw some glasses and pens on a table and hallucinated they were ralsei from deltarune for a split second, this probably has absolutely nothing to do with the sleep quality i described a sentence ago but in any case i fail to see the resemblance
can’t wait to be even more tired and see even more weird things beginning tomorrow 
president’s log of australia: day 29/30
had a subpar night’s sleep
saw some glasses and pens on a table and hallucinated they were ralsei from deltarune for a split second, this probably has absolutely nothing to do with the sleep quality i described a sentence ago but in any case i fail to see the resemblance
can’t wait to be even more tired and see even more weird things beginning tomorrow