@kiwi

the wasteof.money movie (2026)

an epic political drama about the never-ending fight to allow the common moneywaster their fair share of waffles and autism

starring the following overused actors:

chris pratt as king @jeffalo (obviously)

adam sandler as president @kiwi (he will say a ton of things that will leave the audience wondering if that was supposed to be a joke, in other words it’ll be business as usual)

jack black as vice president @late, who will say all your favorite late lines (“i… am late”, “this… is appel”, “first we late, then we theidiot. let’s latetheidiot!”, etc)

awkwafina as the @wastedonion (like the entire corporation, not just one reporter, oh also she’ll have a musical segment where we all get to listen to her grating voice for two minutes and we all have to hope they’ll skip it on the soundtrack vinyl release)

hatsune miku as @ilovetimhortons (don’t think any further details are necessary)

budget will be $150,000,000, but most of that will be allocated to giving the crew members free double quarter pounder with cheese combo meals

actual movie and marketing budget will be 10 cents and a dream

film will be released unrated, not because it’s inappropriate or anything, but because the MPA didn’t want to slog through this

in theaters nowhere!! soon!!! but not really! i hope not!! i don’t wanna commit to the bit this much but i may have dug a grave for myself by making this post so i might have to lie in it now!

president’s log of australia: day 10

went bowling yesterday

the whole experience vaguely reminded me of day job, the hit 2024 australian adult animated web series created by paul georghiou

in which the main characters work at a bowling alley

and it’s set in australia

crazy

fr for real

president’s log of australia: day 9

thanks to my parents’ interesting car song choices, i now subconsciously associate weird al with this country

i’m not complaining though

president’s log of australia: day 8

it just occurred to me that i haven’t taken any pictures so i have no actual evidence that i’m in this country

anyway, for those not in the wasteof discord or a certain other place, i went to the beach yesterday

if you can’t read my mediocre handwriting (and i don’t blame you), it says “wasteof.money - graciously funded by the kiwi-late administration MMXXV”

now this entire country is blessed with the knowledge of wasteof

…i now realize that this advertisement may have been in poor taste, so to redeem myself i may or may not be writing “rip tallpeter” in the sand the next time i visit the beach, idk, we’ll see

i just got back from an event thing where the old guy running the projector decided to exit full screen on the video we were watching even though everything was working completely fine, changed literally nothing after exiting full screen but kept hovering over the “windows ink workspace” button for some reason, accidentally clicked a random youtube recommendation, then a youtube ad that blared “WATCH WHAT EGGS DO TO YOUR BRAIN” at full volume came on

it was great

president’s log of australia: day 7

still haven’t seen any kangaroos yet, therefore i’m still not fully convinced that this country exists

“unfortunately, you’re allergic to the letter e”, said the doctor

“oh,” said the patient, and then he died immediately afterwards because basically the doctor got it wrong and he was actually allergic to the letter o

president’s log of australia: day 6

they still have kmarts here

after three long years, someone apparently turned an old dumb animation i made into a creepypasta

wasn’t expecting this to show up in my scratch notifications but here we are

president’s log of australia: day 5

my nana has had an unopened bottle of the fnaf 2 movie-branded fanta sitting in her fridge for who knows how long

how do i tell her

so discord launched this new quest offering 5000 orbs… if you install and use some clanker slop browser for 15 minutes.

if you want the orbs but also have common sense and don’t want to install whatever this is, here’s a workaround (for windows):

1. go to the root of your C drive and create a series of folders inside of each other in this order (case sensitive):

   C:\Perplexity\Comet\Application

2. download bart bash, the greatest game of all time

   https://bosinngamez.itch.io/bart-bash

3. rename bartbash.exe to comet.exe (again, case sensitive)

4. move comet.exe to the Application folder

5. run comet.exe from inside of the Application folder (with your discord client open and the mission accepted)

6. play bart bash for 15 minutes

1. enjoy your orbs!

that directory is literally all that discord is looking for. i used bart bash as an example because it’s the greatest game of all time, but you can realistically do this with whatever .exe you want as long as it’s renamed to comet.exe and is in that specific path. but why would you, you could use bart bash instead

hope this maybe helps someone, thanks to this random reddit comment for teaching me that this was even possible

https://old.reddit.com/r/discordapp/comments/1nwaadj/the_first_5000_orb_quest_is_to_use_an_ai_browser/nhf2ed8/

president’s log of australia: day 4

after a few days of deliberation, i can confirm: these things taste good

that is all for today