@kiwi
taking a break from wasteof to touch grass and work through some personal things (no, this isn’t a bit)
you know where to find me
Special thanks to:
- @toaks and @adventuremase for originally playing PEAK with me on 11.23.25
- toaks for having the idea to take a screenshot of our game and share it with the @wastedonion, before that plan gradually evolved into the pseudo-social experiment that just happened
- toaks for writing the updates shared to the @president account this past week. he wrote them all in the same night (!!)
- late for being in on this joke long before anyone else and responding to your comments/complaints, allowing us to stay in character
- chaideluxe for also being in on this joke long before anyone else (he's not on wasteof but still deserves a shoutout)
- everyone who watched free birds this thanksgiving
- @-gr for putting up with my playing dumb when he asked if i was dead
- adventuremase for telling me this was actually toaks' idea, not his
- everyone who (begrudgingly) put up with this weeklong bit
p.s.: we meant jeffALO's island (canada)
Contrary to what I said yesterday, we’ve decided to release the last few parts of this bit later tonight. We were going to keep doing this for two more days, but we’re not having fun anymore and want the story to be complete.
Will share special thanks afterwards and then regularly scheduled kiwi/late/mase/toaksposting will return
Alright I’m breaking character for a second:
This whole island thing was written and intended to be published over the course of a week. We aren’t going to mess with that schedule, and the story will be over in three days.
But thanks to our lack of initial indication that we were going to pull a stunt, and our lack of indicating that said stunt had a definitive ending, I now see that this whole thing has come across as a weird never-ending attempt to stir up drama, or us dragging a joke into the ground until it’s not funny any more, or maybe a combination of the two.
What I’m trying to say is, our bad. We should have set this up in such a way that wasn’t so… annoying for people not in on it.
Needless to say, as soon as this thing is over (which as a reminder will be on December 1), we’ll be going back to normal and we’ll never speak of this again.
Until then, maybe send us a helicopter.
PRESIDENT KIWI RESURRECTED; SUBSEQUENTLY ATTACKED BY TERRORIST AND KILLED AGAIN
Once again, we have received a small amount of news from the survivors currently on the deserted island. To our shock, this radio message was sent from the president @kiwi, who was suspected to be killed by @toaks only a few days ago. “Hi guys, it’s Kiwi here, I got resurrected a little bit ago and thought I would tell you so you don’t replace my position in government with someone unfit for it, like a serial killer or something idk.” His statement of his new health was quickly cut off by an unknown person. However, the radio message was accompanied by this picture. Though it is only speculation on this reporter’s part, it is clear that Toaks has killed Kiwi a second time.
ADVENTUREMASE ELECTED TEMPORARY PRESIDENT WHILE ADMINISTRATION GRAPPLES WITH THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF
Shortly after the news of the president’s death was delivered yesterday, the administration met to elect a replacement for the late and great president @kiwi. They made the tearful decision to appoint @adventuremase, who is currently stranded on a deserted island in a tropical part of the North Atlantic Ocean, as the president. The administration took the rest of the day off as they fought with the fact Kiwi will never come back. Adventuremase briefly radioed in a response to this news: “Can someone get them a box of tissues? Anywho, this is a tough role to carry, but I believe I can avenge Kiwi. I can’t believe that @toaks definitely, totally killed him. Toaks was shooting sleeping darts at me, so he must have committed many treasonous crimes while I was knocked out.” We can only hope the remainder of the climb proves too difficult for Toaks.
PRESIDENT KIWI “WHOOPSIES” OFF SHEER CLIFF FACE AND DIES
Early today, we received a second radio message from the survivors of the presidential plane crash. It contains grim news. According to the professional killer @adventuremase, our great president @kiwi “had a little whoopsie-daisy and just so happened to fall hundreds of feet down a cliff. We didn’t confirm he died but I mean c’mon.” Now, this reporter usually does not give opinions on matters such as these. However, I believe the implications of this are obvious: @toaks killed the president.
PRESIDENT KIWI REPORTEDLY ALIVE, TRAPPED ON ISLAND
After the tragic plane crash involving our president @kiwi yesterday, there seemed little hope of survival for the passengers. However, we have received a brief radio message from the survivors of the crash, @toaks, @adventuremase, and, thankfully, Kiwi. They have crashed on a strange deserted island, but they are alive. Kiwi commented on his companions briefly in the message; “I don’t know how I feel about being surrounded by a man defined by greed and a serial killer, but at least we all brought climbing shoes. See you at the PEAK!”
PRESIDENT KIWI MISSING IN ACTION
Late last night, disaster struck our great president @kiwi. Shortly after departing the airport on a charity trip with the national treasurer @toaks and the executive executioner @adventuremase, communication with the president’s plane stopped. Reports from shortly before communications cut suggests Toaks may have attempted to take control of the plane, with the intention of performing “a triple backwards barrelroll,” and immediately crashed the plane. We are currently working to re-establish communication with any survivors.
today is the 20th anniversary of the xbox 360
although i’ve long since moved onto pc, i have a lot of fond memories with the 360, it and the wii are the first two real consoles i remember using!
it’s a real shame xbox took all the wrong notes from their success and were subsequently remembered as the dying brand in third place with no exclusives, but for a few cool years they really were on top of gaming
so yeah, happy 20th anniversary to the console that got turned into the only megablock set i’ve ever genuinely considered getting
how many active users would you guys say wasteof has on an average day? my guess was always like 15-30 but maybe i’m under/overestimating
just a week ago i was watching one of their videos, their stuff was pretty funny to watch… well it was funny until yesterday anyways
we really can’t have nice things :(
God damnit. Apparently one of (if not THE) biggest Undertale/Deltarune content creators, Shayy, is apparently allegedly a groomer. There is a 260 page Google doc with 11 victim testimonies, with another 11 victims without a testimony.
WD-40
we talk a lot about enshittification nowadays, but what companies do you think have survived it? or at least haven't actively made their business worse? the ones I'd say off the top of my head without much thought are Costco, Casio and Crocs (accidental alliteration lol)
2009 twitter jumpscare
