@pakalu_papito

that awkward moment between birth and death

when this virus is over i still want some of u to stay away from me

my mom says that everyone has a beautiful side. so i guess im a circle.

I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.

I got two moods

1) sleep is for the weak

2) sleep for the week

why have abs when u can have kebabs

me: im so lonely

person: hi

me: leave me alone

Me: "Aw, your baby is cute. How old?"

Woman: "Thanks, she's 34 weeks. Do you have the time?"

Me: "Sure, it's 972 minutes past midnight."

"you are what you eat" i don't remember eating a huge disappointment

my soul mate is most likely a grilled cheese

2019: single

2020: single

2021: single

Consistency is key guys

me: hey i was wondering if you want to go out sometime

crush: no

me: wtF omG soRRY that was my CAMEL running across the keyboarD OMG!!!

can you imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up

people who love me:

1. nobody

2. nobody

3. nobody

4. nobody

5. my camel

how to have a flat stomach: remove all of ur organs

are you a vine because i only want to see u for 6 seconds