I can’t go on without saying this:

there’s at least 5 people I can name who still think i’m transphobic (btw, i’m not). They actively dislike, if not hate me. And they mostly spread false information.

Every day, I think about these people. The fact that I caused these people to hate me, it f*cks with me. (I don’t curse, but that’s the only word for it.) I cannot get them out of my head.

How did this happen? How are we at a point as a community that it is acceptable to put your ideologies and beliefs over another person’s mental health? Did I cause this? Or did I just reveal what was already there? How did I make them hate me, and why haven’t we been reconciled yet?

Every single thing I do is for these people. I need to make them like me again. I need to stop the hate. I did this, and yet they refuse to let me fix it. They refuse to fix it.

I can’t solve this problem. I need to solve it. And at some point in the future, it will all fall down. Something is going to happen. I don’t know what to do.

It’s in my head. Chaos is in my head. These people are in my head. The hate is in my head.

Discord messages fly through my mind, people making fun of me, people unfollowing me, people saying “any reasonable person would disagree with oren,” people insulting me.

Please help.