I still want to die
21 days and 2 mental hospitals later I'm still a mess and my life is shit
As someone on the outside, who doesn't know anything about your situation, I just want you to know I deeply care about you two. I can’t imagine what it is like going through what you have both been through. But there is someone who does understand what you are going through. That person is Jesus Christ. He understands us because he became human and underwent everything you have ever gone through (Hebrews 4:15). You can find hope in Him. He came to bring life, and bring it abundantly (John 10:10).
[Jesus, talking to a woman at a well] “Everyone who drinks this water [from the well] will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” - John 4:13-14
“'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'” — Jeremiah 29:11.
You can find hope and a future in Jesus Christ. I pray you will.