I work for a small web and graphic design company. Because of the kinds of questions we get asked all the time, our boss has added some very specific rules and terms on our website and any contracts we use.

Client: “So… about payment, since you’ll be getting so much exposure, I was thinking that the $800 you’re charging should—”

Me: “Have you checked point number five in both our FAQ and contract?”

Client: *Reading aloud* “[Our Company] never has and never will work for ‘exposure’ or use any form of ‘exposure’ as a replacement for payment.”

Me: “Hopefully that answers any form of that question you were about to ask.”

Client: “Okay, but you see, I don’t think you understand that—”

Me: “And if I could refer you to point five-a in both our FAQ and contract?”

Client: *Reading aloud* “No form of negotiation on point five will be tolerated.”

Me: “Hopefully that also answers any form of that question you were about to ask.”

Client: “Cute, but I don’t think you’re really seeing the bigger picture here. If you—”

Me: “Check point five-b, please.”

This time the client reads silently. A moment longer than it should take to read this point passes, before:

Client: *Click*

Point five-b read: “Any continued form of negotiation on point five, after the client has been made aware of point five-a, will result in a 10% increase in the final fee.”

- We Now Have Anti ‘Client From Hell’ Contracts on Not Always Right