something I've realised now that i'm a little older is that i would assume people thought badly of me when in reality they didn't (in most cases they actually liked my company). i think it's something a lot of people struggle with going off of some of the conversations i’ve had with folks online who will say stuff like “people don't like me” or something to the effect of people dislike me for xyz reason. what i've now discovered is most people aren't hyper-analysing each and ever action you take. as long as you're polite and generally aren't being rude to others then folks are likely to think good of you. i feel it's a symptom of a lot of social media being geared towards controversy and negative things which makes us very harsh to ourselves, basically amplifying the whole “you are your own worst critic” into the stratosphere. i'm not saying you shouldn't strive to improve but you shouldn't be beating yourself up from the inside over every little thing when a lot of it doesn't matter nor does it matter to the people around you. tl;dr don't be so cynical about yourself and instead be more constructive and push towards improving yourself for whatever feels natural and right for you.