I was in a store the other day in York and the cashier asked if I was Irish rather than Scottish. Certainly a lot worse things to be assumed of me (since the Irish are fellow Celts alongside the Welsh and some British islands), such as being asked if I was from Birmingham or something.
fyi i am going to be on holiday for this week coming from monday to friday so won’t have access to my usual files that i use to make the graphics for wasted onion, i have a new simpler set up for when i’m away, which doesn’t have text (due to not being able to use the font wasted onion uses) ready to go and will use that instead if i get time to make them at some point during my day, if not then you’ll just get the title of the article alongside the link instead as i want to keep my streak up for myself mostly. anyways thought i’d do that post for fun to make more jokes about abusing workers bc why not lol
From The Wasted Onion Editorial Board: The Wasted Onion Has Fired The Entirety Of Its Graphic Design Department
Here at The Only News Source we pride ourselves in producing the greatest journalistic slop for you weak-willed plebs to make your painfully drab lives more important by the simple virtue of sapping in the gold-standard bullshit we squirt out from the bowels of our newsroom every single day. Part of that work is done by our graphic design department, who create graphics and make deepfakes of world leaders threatening each other with weapons of mass destruction to keep our newsroom nice and busy. Not just that, but our graphics department has been instrumental in faking the moon landing, the assassination of John F. Kennedy and animating the entirety of Big Mouth for Netflix to ensure you regret your subscription to the streaming giant just a little more. However, our workers have recently made demands to The Wasted Onion’s parent company The Wasted Company that are simply too audacious and unrealistic for us to fulfil, such as things called “wages” and “weekends,” as well as having the gall to ask if they can “go home.” As expected, out of respect for you morons who read this esteemed news regurgitator, we have made the easy decision to fire our entire graphic design department. All of our workers have been given severance packages, with them all losing at least 3 limbs of their choosing before they could leave the office for good. Due to this, The Wasted Onion’s graphics for its posts on wasteof for the next week will feature simplified or no graphics attached until a time in which we can enslave more mindless obedient drones to churn out more cool as fuck graphics for you to stare at blankly for hours on end while you waste away to nothing. The Wasted Onion thanks you for your cooperation during this time, as you know what happens to those who do not, remember what happens if you step out of line and anger the journalism gods.
The Wasted Onion will not be posting the usual graphics for the next week, with either simplified or no graphics depending on circumstances.
burrito is like a natural disaster, there is nothing you can do to stop it, all you can do is run for shelter and hope that it passes over quickly and that the destruction it leaves in its wake spares you your life
when u jorkin ur shit straight vigorous style and ur skin starts molting off like a snake so you lwk js grind it up and use it as seasoning 
we ALL relate
Serious post
A lot is being said about the fatal shooting of Charlie Kirk right now. Before I continue I’ll let you know I’m not celebrating this.
What I feel is most tragic is that this could’ve been prevented, instead of treating the Second Amendment in such a way in which it cannot have any prerequisites before ownership has allowed violence like what happened today to happen. Kirk himself said “it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment.“ This in a lot ways tragically sealed his and countless other peoples demise.
Less than an hour after the shooting, another shooting critically wounded 3 children in a Denver high school. America has had 309 mass shootings this year alone according to Wikipedia’s list, many that could’ve been prevented if guns were regulated like we regulate cars or voting, by registering them, being able to track them and having checks to ensure we don’t give guns to dangerous people. Other countries like Switzerland work like this.
What’s tragic too is that even those mourning the loss of Charlie Kirk right now in the American conservative space will not advocate for anything I listed, including politicians, which ensures more gun violence will occur, killing innocent children in schools and countless other civilians who did nothing to deserve being shot, as well as even more political violence. All because of greed and a lack of humanity in America’s political system.
kinda crazy how i’ve not cared at all about any new smartphone releases the last few years. like oh, the new one is marginally faster? it has ai? whatever lol. the innovation has cratered because smartphones already do almost anything we’d ever want them too
wait your phones don't default to 24 hour time??
Everyone switches their phone to use 24 hour time and thinks they’re different… come back to me when you’re using Eastern Arabic numerals
sorry it was me and what I did last night that made them up the response level (I got too goofy)
real og's remember when I used to post my random thoughts onto @da-ta (which is what this account is now) while this account was basically just me acting like a maniac
I hear system32 is important
it really is shocking how fast some people will throw away their empathy for their fellow human beings just because a rich politician who has never faced any true hardships tells them they don't deserve your empathy
the woke mob is trying to censor us wasteof users, utterly despicable!
