@auriali

some housekeeping:

1. i’ve done everything in my manifesto, i’ve seen a bit of chatter about a new election, in regards to that, i’ll say that i’m probably not going to run again, i think its unfair to run again and potentially win and not give someone else the creative license to have fun with the idea. i’ll let the community decide when to hold the next election.

2. i think it’d be more fun to use the wasted onion to cover the election, doing daily update posts that are satirical and make up things that happen or embellish things for fun, i can leave the wasteof news account to cover things that actually happen.

3. the editors o fthe onion are hosting a reddit ama, thought you might find it interesting and/or funny if you like what i post on the wasted onion: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1likn40/we_are_the_editors_of_the_onion_ask_us_anything/

4. please keep sending headlines and other ideas for articles for the wasted onion! i’ll be sure to credit you and i think its nice for the account to be something that appeals to all different kinds of satirical journalism. i also have something new planned for the account that i hope you’ll like.

have a lovely rest of your day guys

it’s only been 153 days since inauguration and look at where we are. that abyss truly is murky.

me every time i glance at my phone and somehow yet another bbc breaking news alert is there to let me know yet something else bad is happening on top of everything else going badly rn in the world:

fyi i actually made a template design for that post on wasted onion today, here it is without it being in a mockup and also in the mockup without the article text used on wasted onion (feel free to zoom in to read some of the stuff i added, such as the weather section)

i’ve yet to meet a bad flavour/variant of skittles tbh

politics warning i guess lol

so a few interesting things to note about the whole elon musk epstein tweet and overall feud with trump:

1. elon is implying he knows trump was associated with epstien in a big way, basically calling him a paedophile and potentially also committing even worse things.

2. he helped make trump president regardless of knowing this fact, spending about $250 million to do so, according to the bbc.

3. he has brought his four year old son to the white house multiple times knowing trump is a paedophile.

4. he is only saying this now because his ev tax credits for tesla and government contracts for his other companies are at risk. must suck to have your government funding and employment ripped away from you without any warning. good thing the worlds richest man hasn’t just spent the last 6 months ruthlessly shutting down and defunding government agencies and programs to benefit himself and also shutter investigations into his companies as well as give himself lucrative contracts too without any thought to the consequences that mostly hurt the poorest and most vulnerable amongst us.

5. how is elon surprised that trump threw him to the curb after he got what he wanted from him, he has literally done this to everyone including his previous vice president who his supporters advocated to hang after trump turned on him lmao.

also, this exists:

how Elon felt after dropping that Epstein tweet

discovered fontaines d.c. a few weeks ago and they’re pretty good. their two latest albums romance and skinty fia are both really good. starburster and i love you are both stellar. fellow celts from ireland as well. the album covers are fire too

happy pride month!

serious post so please feel free to skip if you wish

something that really rubs me the wrong way is how people talk about autistic people. now i’m not autistic myself, but i am dyslexic (i’m not sure if that really counts as neurodivergent and i’ve always felt weird saying that, idk it feels minimising of people with other neuro-divergence like autistic people to me) and even i face a lot of assumptions that i’m incapable of reading or whatever, it’s annoying and belittling, especially when dyslexia makes you feel stupid on top of that. but the way folks talk about autistic people almost sees them as subhuman, as if they’re incapable of living meaningful lives and that its a travesty when someone is diagnosed as autistic. you see it a lot rn from america thanks to rfk jr (who i despise tbh), but even over here in the uk you have these anti-vax losers who would rather their kid get measles and risk serious health complications or death rather than being autistic (even though vaccines don’t cause autism). i hate how we see neurodivergent people as a failure, something to be corrected, its this idea that they are the weakest of our species and not just people who have brains that see the world differently. autistic people can and have done incredible things and i want them to thrive just as much as anyone else and i hate anyone, especially politicians, who see them as less valuable people just for being autistic, its disgusting and dehumanising.

the purge would be abolished so fast if everyone just committed tax evasion

I mean I can't do so myself but if I turn it into an article for the wasted onion jeffalo just might do it

ok in my defence i did not plan for any of this whatsoever, i didn’t know i could cause half of this stuff to happen i just kinda accidentally did it lmao. also my dictatorship is arguably way funnier and far less depressing than any irl dictatorships or authoritarians so yeah.

lmao