had a camera put down my throat all over again today, how has your day been going?
ok so i have now shared the first 5 blaze news articles that i wrote for the launch. now we’ll be back with wasted onion stuff too! i’ll alternate between wasted onion and blaze whenever i feel like it, so some days you might get a wasted onion article, and sometimes a blaze one instead. but i’d love to hear your thoughts on blaze so far! i hope you’ve liked it, i’ve had a lot of fun making it for you! long live the flame of truth!
This is not a joke. I have bought the Blaze domain from KyleTech and I now also own the @Blaze account. I have some fun stuff (hopefully) on the way. So keep an eye out for that. The Wasted Onion always wins.
Also just an FYI, I own the domain but the transfer is not complete yet, so I can’t update or host anything on the blazeapp.net domain yet. I shall keep you posted!
But for now, please laugh, I wasted real world money on this joke.
Dear Blazers,
Today is your day of reckoning. Ever since the creation of Blaze in the shadows where only the most powerful play. For years, we have had Blaze slip from our fingers multiple times, yet, we persevered.
I am excited and aroused to announce that The Wasted Company has acquired Blaze. From here on out, The Flame Of Social Media is in the hands of the same prestigious corporation that owns The Only News Source, The Wasted Onion, alongside Theranos, Enron, Wirecard, and Fyre Festival.
Say goodbye to the old Blaze, for it is dead and buried six feet deep. I personally shot it behind a barn to put it out of its misery. The new Blaze begins now, The Flame Of Truth will shine bright in ways that were once thought unimaginable. No more will Blaze collect all of your personal information, it will now collect your very soul.
Prepare for greatness, just like our work at The Wasted Onion, Blaze will be your one-stop-shop for beautiful, completely asinine bullshit.
Hold on fucking tight.
Clef Bozos, CEO, The Wasted Company.
how times change
Welcome to the first official post from the Thrat-Eris campaign!
As newly-sworn (by newly I mean two months ago) president of the greatest site to waste money on, I would like to formerly announce some new laws that will be going into effect, effective immediately.
NEGATIVE tax rate on ALL breakfast items except for French Toast because it SUCKS! The government will now be paying you from our annual breakfast budget of $20 annually for every breakfast item you eat! If we run out of money, we will just be printing more money!
Why has no other president thought ofthat oneyet?Edit: uhh nvm ab printing money..@thrat MUST return to his prime of April 2026, as in when wasteof was down.
We have successfully taken down the DANGEROUS TERRORIST website of blazeapp.net, and will be charging @kyletech of Larceny because he stole my heart by making Blaze coded by Lovable AI. The court website will instead be programmed by a ChatGPT model from 2023.
@thrat will be playing The Flawless as suggested by @toaks by 2027. Contrary to the level’s name, this level has many many flaws.
@eris will NOW be required to use Windows 8.1 instead of Windows 11, because Windows 8.1 was a far superior operating system.
@specialred_ will now be required to pay reparations for all affected by their shitting at the Incline Bench. How do you shit yourself when you only have five pounds on each side?
That’s all for now, but make sure to give us a follow to keep up with us!
-thratwitch
i hate how this makes me laugh without fail every time I read it but i can only be mad at myself
getting a syrupy pawjob under the table at dennys and one of xer claws gets stuck in your urethra
reject modernity embrace tradition
