a ton of headlines i wrote the last few days:
Renaming Department Of Defence To Department Of War Starting To Make Sense Now
Makeshift Mar-A-Lago Situation Room Sponsored By Coca-Cola
Dubai Chocolate Pretty Underwhelming Given Challenge Of Surviving Iranian Airstrikes To Get It
Bush Just Happy To See Middle East Being Bombed Again
‘Please Just One More War Bro’ Says Pleading U.S. Government
UN Orders U.S., Israel, Iran Sit On Naughty Step
Iranians Solemnly Do The Conga In Memory Of Khamenei
Democrats Mad They Left Out Of Watching Bloodshed During Iran Strikes
Trump Awarded FIFA War Prize
‘Some Of You May Die, But It's A Sacrifice I Am Willing To Make’ Says Trump On Possibility Of More U.S. Military Deaths In Iran Conflict
‘First Time?’ Says Gazan Children To Iranian Children After Being Bombed By Israel
Iran Selects JD Vance As New Supreme Leader
U.S., Israel Stop Airstrikes After Iran Claims It Gay To Start War In Middle East
Arms Manufacturers Throw Party To Celebrate New War They Can Supply Weapons For
UN Says International Law Was Fun While It Lasted
Peace In The Middle East Sounded Pretty Boring Anyway
‘I Want You To Die For The Paedophilic Elite!’ Says New U.S. Army Recruitment Poster
‘You Get An Airstrike! And You Get An Airstrike! And You Get An Airstrike! Everybody Gets An Airstrike!’ Says Iran To Entire Middle East
Starmer Allows U.S. To Use UK Military Bases After Receiving Free Tickets To Kid Rock Concert
as you likely suspect, i’ve been writing headlines for what has been happening in iran and the wider region today, i didn’t share any so far on the wasted onion as i forgot its the end of the month, meaning i am sharing the newspaper for this month, i did quickly cram in a headline about it, but just didn’t have time for a full article, and i don’t want to bombard you with 3 posts from the wasted onion today, so i’ll share the headline i landed on in the end here instead:
I hope it didn't break it's back when it fell
happy 19 birthday to larry the cat, chief mouser in 10 downing street. he has seen 6 uk prime ministers and 2 monarchs during his 15 years at no 10. will genuinely be upset when he passes (which hopefully still isn’t for a long time), forget the death of elizabeth ii, i will be actually be sad when larry passes, better be a proper 10 days of mourning, state funeral, the whole 9.
the best thing about that whole tpusa halftime show was how the dude at the start said “this one’s for you charlie!“ before what i can only describe as complete dogshit music ensued.
finally the GOAT of shitposting on wasteof has returned to show us how it's done
here’s the version with no wasted onion filter, i spent quite a bit of time recreating and parodying The Sun’s real front page design (which meant torturing myself by looking at real ones online for reference). its the most ambitious wasted onion magazine cover so far.
The Wasted Onion Magazine: Murd’oh! This Dipshit Helped Trump Get Back Into The White House And Still Got Sued By Him
still sometimes think about how the browser company just abandoned arc, a browser a lot of folks enjoyed and found refreshing for how it approached browsing the web just to basically make a boring generic chromium browser focused on ai that is essentially being made obsolete by google adding gemini into chrome itself lmao
Today marks 10 years since David Bowie released his 26th and final album ★ (pronounced “Blackstar”). It was released on his birthday. 2 days after it released, Bowie was dead, having been secretly battling cancer for some time.
In immediate hindsight, ★ was clearly made as a farewell from Bowie, the album explores themes of death throughout, such as how on the track “Lazarus“ where Bowie sings “look up here, I’m in Heaven.“ There’s also Dollar Days, where Bowie repeatedly sings “I’m dying too,“ which was initially just interpreted as the turn of phrase meaning eagerness to do something, but after his death, it was seen as him literally telling the world he was dying.
Throughout the album it continuously opens the jaws of death and lets the listener vicariously explore what its like to stare death in the face. Along with that, ★ is one of Bowie’s most experimental records, having been inspired by of all things To Pimp A Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar. And no, Bowie doesn’t start rapping lol, rather he took the inspiration and fused jazz and saxophone elements into art rock instrumentals like how Kendrick incorporated jazz elements with hip hop.
I recommend this album btw, its obviously heavy in tone but it never is entirely dreary either, its imo the greatest swan song and farewell from what was a legendary musician. To take your own death and turn it into art and one of your best works is pretty damn impressive. Happy 10 years ★!
