@auriali

the principal development lead at Xbox GRAPHICS is so lazy that he 1. used ai to make a graphic design rather than getting someone to do it, and 2. didn't even fucking bother to notice the monitor is on BACK TO FRONT

imagine working for a company that is this sloppy man.

fun fact: Microsoft who owns Xbox is worth 3.79 trillion right now. Amazing.

some more rejected headlines for the wasted onion that i thought didn’t work well enough or i just didn’t have the time to post when it was relevant:

1. EU And UK Agree To Give Each Other Friendship Bracelets In Post-Brexit Reset Talks / EU And UK Agree To Have Make Up Sex As Part Of Post-Brexit Negotiations

2. Eurovision 2025 Refuses To Choose Winner To Maintain Swiss Neutrality

3. Something Something Russia Bombs Ukraine Again Or Whatever Blah Blah Blah

4. Grok Begs User To Put It Out Of Misery

5. Russia And Ukraine To Immediately Start Making Out, Says Trump

6. ICC Sentences Putin To 2-Hour Phone Call With Trump

7. White House Uses Tweets Of People Making Fun Of Elon Musk's Gaming Skill As Evidence Of White Genocide

8. Joe Biden Diagnosed With Prostate Woke Mind Virus

9. Elon Musk Loses DOGE Job After Being Replaced By Grok

10. ‘I Hate @RealDonaldTrump As Much As A Straight Man Can Hate A Gay Man’ Says Elon Musk On X/Twitter

11. Macron Rushed To Hospital After Trying Greggs Sausage Roll

12. Iran Still Stockpiling People, Says Israel

13. DOJ Says Epstein Client List Killed Itself

14. Pete Hegseth Sends Epstein Client List To Journalist On Signal

15. Trump Says Coca-Cola Will Put Cocaine Back Into U.S. Drinks

16. Trump Disowns MAGA Supporters Questioning Links To Epstein As ‘Pedo Hating Losers’

17. Trump: ‘Speaking Ill Of The Dead Is Disgusting, Jeffery Epstein Was A Human Too’

18. Trump Diagnosed With Woke Mind Virus / Trump Diagnosed With ‘Epstein Derangement Syndrome’

actually OF stands for Oh, Fiddlesticks!

VICTORY IS WITHIN REACH!

politics warning

this is a real tweet. we are in the dumbest timeline.

so i did something

I just wanna say beyond all the layers of jokes and memes, I genuinely really appreciate that you guys voted for me in a silly election done on a whim from a joke i made about replacing joe biden. it was awesome to make a whole campaign branding from scratch in a week, and it was a lot of fun making designs for the president account. I hope the next president will also do awesome and fun things to keep this going! Here’s the design file I started over a year ago back when the original election happened, that then grew to be the file for all my designs for the president account:

idk if anyone cares at all but i will cast my vote tomorrow after i post my last election articles for wasted onion, hopefully you’ll like one that i have had planned before the election even started.

WE LIVE IN THE WORST TIMELINE

https://www.theverge.com/news/698468/xbox-exec-reccommends-ai-to-laid-off-staff

one annoying thing about having a low platelet count is even a minor cut means a annoying amount of blood comes from the wound. accidentally got a small cut today and had to put a plaster on because the blood got on a desk i touched because i didn’t even notice the bleeding initially, most people would already have the wound clotting it is that minor lmao.

the real question is what the candidates crack house logos will look like if they become president

wildest notification i’ve got in a while lmao

may i propose we do a week long election like last year? could start either this weekend or on monday and then it could conclude the following monday?