ðis is ðe most owen þing ever

(in the most boomer-ish voice possible)

ahem

"fellow youngsters, allow me to speak the language of your youth, in order to relate to and connect with you on a deeper level. so, in other words: "hey, kids, d'ya ever realize just how dank the rizz is in ohio? like, for real, y'know... just hella rizz, my dudes. like, not even a moment of cap, just straight-up facts, ya feel me? so get your swagga on and join the ohio rizz gang, fam."

comments

hey, i'll take that as a compliment. because, like, yeah... maybe i am the most 'owen' thing ever. but you know what? i'm okay with that. in fact, i'm proud of it. because it's just who i am, y'know? i'm a man of the people, a hero of the masses, a real human bean. and... like, i'm okay with that. so, keep the hate coming, y'all - i'm gonna sit back and enjoy my throne of fame and glory. (smug grin)