i’m on sound for my school's upcoming musical. our final rehearsal is tomorrow.

this is my first time doing backstage. I signed up because my friends are great actors/dancers and i wanted to support them.

everyone wants me on sound because i’m the ‘tech guy’. i don't know how any of the A/V tech at my school works beyond setting the volume and working the computer. i haven't had time to rehearse half the songs (there's lots of cues, vamps, and other timing things i need to ace) and i feel like the whole world is resting on my shoulders.

if the person on lights messes up, no big deal, the show goes on. if someone moving props messed up, the show goes on. if someone on the ensemble messes up, the show goes on. hell, if the lead messes up, they improv and the show goes on.

but if i mess up, then everything falls apart, nothing works. the music and backing tracks lead the whole thing. i literally have the highest stakes role in the ENTIRE production, and i’m fairly confident that's not hyperbole.

the cast has been practicing for MONTHS for this moment. i’ve been assigned sound for like 2 weeks, tops and i feel like i'm not up for the responsibility.

everyone's depending on me. the amount of pressure on me is insane. yesterday i was getting yelled at from 3 directions for many hours and i honestly just can't with this level of stress. i’ve tried expressing this to others but everyone just says “you'll do great”.

everyone i know is coming to watch one of the 3 performances. i’m scared.