Special Report By The Wasted Onion: Prices At Trump Merch Store Set To Triple Because Of Tariffs

NEW YORK—In response to sweeping tariffs rocking markets worldwide imposed by President Donald Trump, the Trump Store has announced prices of Trump merchandise will triple. “After assessing the potential impact of tariffs and evolving market conditions, we have made the difficult decision to increase our prices,” said Trump Organization spokesperson Mia Karnow at a press event outside Trump Tower. “While we understand the frustration many customers may feel, we are dedicated to providing President Trump’s merchandise at the fairest price possible. From world-famous Make America Great Again hats, to the renowned Trump body pillow.” Karnow added that price increases were due to 46% tariffs imposed on imports from Vietnam and difficulties finding children poor enough to work in manufacturing the merchandise. Concluding the press event, Mrs. Karnow announced that JD Vance branded couches sold on the Trump Store would now be sold at a 99% discount.

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