New Blog Post — This post was written by a primitive LLM
Modern LLMs are stinky and controversial, so why care about those when GPT-2 can replace my blog with My new phone is an IPS panel, not a Galaxy S9 or S10, a 5MP Sony sensor phone from January 2014. Speaking of which, why did you just send me this? Because I actually really fucking love my Pixel 8 Pro.
https://blog.joshattic.us/posts/2026-09-20-this-post-was-written-by-primitive-ai
Comments on this post are mirrored to my blog. Comments made more than 3 months after this post was made are not mirrored.
Fun Fact: Apple still runs this service program, and there's like no limits to what you can submit. I've successfully submitted a mid 2010 iMac, an iPod Shuffle, a 2017 iPhone that isn't even supposed to be included in the program. Hard barrier for 1st gen iPod shuffles though.
I walked into the Optus store and as expected since I was probably the first person to do so in months they started desperately trying to sell me things
I was gonna work on wo.mbat 2.4.3 but then the wind dragged me onto my usual bus route to the nearest shopping centre so I'm pushing it back another day 
oh google also forced me to make a website so here's the new wo.mbat website
wo.mbat 2.4.2 is out!
changelog (mobile):
- Fixed MANY annoying bugs and regressions
changelog (wearos):
- Completely redesigned the feed and post details UI
- Now compliant with Google standards
https://github.com/JoshAtticus/wo.mbat
edit: going to explode because I forgot to make the womp metadata dynamically get the version so all posts from 2.4.2 will show up as from 2.4.1
wo.mbat 2.4.2 is out!
changelog (mobile):
- Fixed MANY annoying bugs and regressions
changelog (wearos):
- Completely redesigned the feed and post details UI
- Now compliant with Google standards
https://github.com/JoshAtticus/wo.mbat
edit: going to explode because I forgot to make the womp metadata dynamically get the version so all posts from 2.4.2 will show up as from 2.4.1
Following fresh on the heels of Australia’s largest pension-stealing organisation, the second largest pension-stealing organisation Optus, is launching the all new “Nothing” plan through their subsidiary MVNO, amaysim. The new “Nothing” plan is truly a groundbreaking feat of innovation set to bring in massive profits for the company, just $15 per year at a time from unsuspecting grandparents with a little too much trust in the Optus store salespeople.
We reached out to Optus for comment:
“We’re truly excited to announce our latest innovation, the Nothing plan. For just $15 per month, you get absolutely, Nothing. You get 0GB of data with a 365 day expiry, yes, that’s one whole year, on our Premium 4G network, whatever that means. It’s available starting today from our subsidiary, amaysim, or in store. We’re currently trying to figure out how to not make it look suspicious having real people in our stores, given that nobody willingly enters them. One thing we’re excited to try is signs out the front of the store advertising the new plan that block the view of the people inside so nobody tries calling the police on us for kidnapping them. Alongside the Nothing plan, you can also easily sign up for life insurance and an extended warranty you didn’t need before, but will need now, with 1 click for $99.99 per month.”
Experts and analysts are excited to see where this new technology goes, and are impressed with Optus’ rapid rollout, beating even Telstra who announced the same thing just a few days ago.
Also Tonight: The ACCC and ACMA announce new $19.4 trillion taxpayer-funded plan to do something about someone or something within the next few decades. More at six.
hello from my manufactured landwaste Android tablet I got for free it took hours to download wo.mbat from the play store
BREAKING: Telstra preparing to launch an innovative technology: “Just stealing people’s money and hoping they don’t notice.” Fresh off the rumour mill comes reports of this new tech, which experts are calling “the biggest profit maker of the century,” “wait, isn’t that illegal?” and “why didn’t I think of that first?”
We turned to Telstra’s major competitors for comments, TPG and Optus, who each said “Here at TPG, we will be complaining about this to the ACMA. This is absolutely, not okay at all, if we can’t do it, why can they do it?” and, “It is of utmost priority to ensure our customers get to experience the latest innovations while paying for their Optus service. We’ll be sharing details in a bit on our plan to roll out this new technology.”
While incredibly innovative, the technology is also incredibly simple in nature: Telstra simply takes more money than they’re supposed to from their customers and doesn’t give it back, providing for a potentially infinite increase in profit.
To request their money back, customers must go to the store on a Sunday, something thought to be impossible by most, or convince their boss to let them go on a random Wednesday which will somehow be the busiest day that specific store has ever seen since it opened leading to a multi-hour wait. Subjects are advised the staff are also completely incompetent.
We reached out to Telstra for comment regarding the legality of this new scheme, to which they said:
“Yeah, we think we’ll probably be able to get away with this for like 4 years or so, that’s about how long we get away with everything, and when they fine us we’ll probably just accidentally break 000 again or something because how dare you mess with our bottom line. Wait, is this being recorded? Hey! Stop that”
We’ll be back again at six with more news. Also Tonight: NBN Co announces new $188 billion plan to make the internet actually work sometimes like a quarter of the time as an optional $29.99 per month add-on
new linux malware idea: super secret script you pipe to bash directly from curl that replaces your OS with ChromeOS