sometimes when I feel sad, I like to think to myself “at least I am not @slider_on_the_black“ imagine having his music taste… ew…
Playing 50 characters in a musical is interesting... Especially when you don't know which characters it is... And you don't have a script...
I bought some of my online friends a book each because I had some birthday money left over... They have them preceded to buy me some books worth MORE THAN I SPENT ON THEM... Like I'm happy but also you didn't need to one up me like that...that kind of defeats the point of me gifting it to you...
My head feels like it's slowly crushing my brain, my lungs feel like they can't get enough oxygen, every muscle in my body is tense yet relaxed whilst simultaneously being sore, my family hates me, my friends hate me, I jokingly call myself insane but I might really be losing it... Music is the only thing that quietens everything... I'm truly all alone in this world... A funny thought, an introvert searches for solus and when it finds them, it's by everyone else stepping away, even those who were held dear... I feel like I'm walking down a never ending highway, wandering pointlessly and without end... For what am I being cursed? Perhaps it was my birth... Maybe I shouldn't have existed... Maybe that's my crime. I hoped to never end up like my parents... But "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" I used to search for whatever could remove emotions and make me go numb... But total numbness is just as burdensome... Sometimes I wonder if life is even worth living anymore... Would anyone truly miss me? Would anyone even notice? Would anyone care? Would anyone even remember me? I'm tired... I need to sleep
Whelp... I was curious as to why I didn't properly "like" anyone... Now I know... I just didn't know my type LMAO
"they're singing happy birthday, you just want to lay down and cry" - this about sums up my birthday a week ago lmao
What's this? A vent post? You guessed it! I don't know what I'm doing wrong in my life... It seems like very time something bad happens, it's followed up with something good (which is nice as it balances it out) BUT THEN ITS FOLLOWED WITH MORE BAD! In the last week, I got hit by a car and then got a part in the school musical and a book I was awaiting arrived (balance) but now one of my friends blocked me on discord, because I tried to copy what he did and just say the word "no" or something adjacent as I notice him typing and before he sends it... which is block worthy apparently??? (And is exactly what my primary school friends did which is what gave me insane social anxiety and a constantly panicked mentality (I try not let it show but it is there) another friend that I often talk to is somewhere where they can't talk... My parents went into my room in the middle of the day and took the powerboard I need to charge my phone and school laptop and stuff... Then when I get confused as I'm plugging stuff in as I go to bed, they get mad at me for asking why they didn't ask and they just took it, plus they replaced it with a smaller one which can't fit all my stuff... When I pointed it out they called me ungrateful and then went to look for something that could work, but then they expect me to thank them profusely for putting down what they were doing and fixing a problem they caused? And they keep asking "why do you need it?" LIKE IVE NEEDED IT FOREVER YOU JUST BUSTED INTO MY ROOM AND TOOK IT WITHOUT TELLING ME! Now they are mad at me (and when they get mad at me I often get the suggestion that I should just move out and move in with a friend, blah blah blah...) I know that the second thing is much smaller than the first but like... The scales had JUST tipped back to neutral and now it's down in the negative again... Damn it... I swear whatever deity is out there must be having a laugh
I was riding my bike and got hit by a car today... It doesn't hurt as much as I thought but my leg really hurts
Damn it... My final year of school is just around the corner and I'm dreading it, but worst of all I'm scared... I'm worrying about what if the work is too tough? What if I get bad grades? My timetable is currently messed up and I need to get that sorted out... This is stressing me out
I don't know if this is an autism thing or something else… but I am having a breakdown over a haircut my parents made me get… I just lay on my floor and sobbed uncontrollably for like half an hour… my hairs length was similar to Ellie's in tlou2 but now it's just some generic short hair cut… and when I say short I mean like my hair is two inches/six centimetres above my collar… I want to die so badly right now… I can't even look at my reflection in a mirror otherwise I break down… please let me know if any of y'all are similar to me and any methods that help alleviate this…