@mythus
“My momma always said that life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get” -Forrest Gump
this girl in my history class I like kept asking me to homecoming, idk if she was serious or messing with me, but i’m going camping this week, so I ain’t going to homecoming anyway
Don't you just hate when your shower walks to the tub in france from uranus all the way from chickens crossing the roads while you eat dino nuggies from birds in a tornado and then you look in the mirror and then you walk out of a window out of a corner and then you fall down and see yourself in the sun but the sun walks to the bottom of the earth and then you laugh making your kool-aid squirt out of your nose??...Yeah me too.
Look, Perry the Platypus, I’ve done it! Behold the Dr. Doofenschmirtz Meth Lab-I-Nator!
Dr. Doofenschmirtz Inc.
I just feel the need to write a few songs in English class instead of the writing assessment.
Sub-Zero vs. Scorpion:
Who’s better? Answer in the comments, and you can choose a different character if you want.
In English class blasting music in my ears because I don’t want to deal with other people rn.
Has anyone else ever imagined if the school pulled the fire alarm because there was a fire, but it was fire drill day and the firefighters didn’t come.
Turn into a plant, and scare the hell out of anyone who walks by.
there are so many things you could do if you were a shapeshifter
be a crow and scare the crap out of people with omens or nonsensical prophecies (because crows are able to talk)
cause drama by appearing to be someone else
be a seagull and poop on bad people
make people even more scared of the ocean by making sea monsters real
be a stray cat and if someone adopts you turn back into a human immediately after they say something embarrassing that someone would only say to their cat
be a raccoon or a monkey and steal things
be a creepy thing in the woods
be a dragon and dramatically sit atop a mountain
impersonate political or religious figures
be absolutely done with civilization and hibernate for a whole season
be an exact copy of someone’s pet and see their owner’s reaction
pee anywhere as long as nobody sees that you’re actually a human (probably just for emergencies tho)
scream into the night without risk of getting the cops called on you because you can sound like a monster
have a really really good cosplay as any creature from anything ever
be a valstrax (really cool dragon from MH with jet engines for wings)
Guys, the only good painter is Bob Ross. Every other painter sucks. Picasso’s paintings look like “happy accidents”.
Tip of the day:
Stick a pipe bomb in the tailpipe of a bus.
It’s a joke, don’t blow up my comments
Me during school:
Teacher explaining secrets of the universe.
My brain: How much does a demilitarized tank cost? How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Why am I still here? What class is this?
Me: Oh damn, I’m in the wrong class.