A lot of people outside of America are confused by Super Bowl “Football” so here are a few facts and pointers:

  1. The sport is called football as the ball is exactly 12 inches in length.

  2. Play consists of 112 quarters, each one lasts for about 30 seconds.

  3. During this time players must carry the “Football” (or “Gameball” or “Stitchface”) as far as possible into the score zone while the other team attempts to kill them.

  4. Once a player has been successfully killed, play is paused while everyone on the other team has the chance to say something nice about them.

  5. In the unlikely event the football is successfully carried into the score zone a “touchdowner” is awarded (worth 5 points) and the player can earn a further 27 points by kicking the ball through the goalsticks.

  6. In the fifth quarter, the teams are allowed to wear their own clothes.

  7. MULTIBALL can be called at any time.

  8. The iconic football helmet is worn to stop the players from kissing each other.

  9. Play can only stop when everyone has thanked the referee (or “umpire”) and given them a small present (usually a book token). Technically Super Bowl XXI is still being played to this day as someone from the Denver Racoons forgot to do so.

  10. Each player who has the honour of Super Bowling is given a large jewel-encrusted gold ring, that is worn through the nipple.

Hope this is helpful to anyone who is unsure about the game!

Feb 11, 2024, 8:51 PM
8 0 5


Not too far off

i actually thought i vastly underestimated the size of the american football football at first

still tiny in comparison to proper football. You looking forward to the euros in germany?

(credit to @phil_smith@mastodonapp.uk for this post)