Thou art naught but a sniveling, repugnant scallywag; a scrupleless heathen, an insufferable knave, a delinquent hoodlum; thou couldst not seek company amongst even the most wretched of foul souls, nor find favor with the filthy swine of the wild. The sheer magnitude of thine density rivals that of stars, and the strength of thine character rivals that of a limbless mouse. I rebuke thee with all my strength; I henceforth pray to never behold thee in my gaze again. May thy bedchamber be perspirous and solitary; thy consternations frequent; and thy crops unyielding. I would wish thee good day, but no morn or eve graced with thine abhorrent presence could be classified as such. I pray this to be the final instance of our mutual presence.

insulting people in old english is actually so funny

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