way back when i was just a little bitty boy livin in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from jerry’s bait shop

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and, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out and we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside AND THE PLANE EXPLODED IN A GIANT FIREBALL AND EVERYBODY DIED

ᵉˣᶜᵉᵖᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵐᵉ

you know why?

cause i had my tray table up

and my seat back in the full upright position

had my tray table up

and my seat back in the full upright position

had my tray table up

and my seat back in the full upright position

maniacal laughter

so i crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage

i crawled on my hands and knees for 3 full days

dragging along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenor saxophone and my 12 pound bowling ball and my lucky lucky autographed glow in the dark snorkel

but finally i arrived at the world famous albuquerque holiday inn where the towels are oh so fluffy and you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna

it's OK, they're clean

so i checked into my room and i turned down the ac and i turned on the spectrovision

and im just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow that i love so very very much when suddenly there’s a knock on the door

door knocking sounds that is actually just drumming

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