way back when i was just a little bitty boy livin in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from jerry’s bait shop
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so i grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus and i bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows and i took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
yes indeed, you better believe it
inhale
and somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
and 20 seconds later i heard a familiar voice
it said
IF YOUD LIKE TO MAKE A CALL
PLEASE HANG UP AND TRY AGAIN
IF YOU NEED HELP HANG UP AND THEN DIAL YOUR OOOOOPERATOR
IF YOUD LIKE TO MAKE A CALL
PLEASE HANG UP AND TRY AGAIN
IF YOU NEED HELP HANG UP AND THEN DIAL YOUR OOOOOPERATOR
in AAAAAAAAAAAALBUQUERQUE!!!!!1!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAALBUQUERQUE!!1!
well to cut a long story short he got away with my snorkel
but i made a solemn vow right then and there that i would not rest
i would not sleep for an instant
until the one nostrilled man was brought to justice
but first i decided to buy some donuts