way back when i was just a little bitty boy livin in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from jerry’s bait shop

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i said "you got any bavarian cream-filled donuts?"

he said "NAH, we're outta bavarian cream-filled donuts"

i said you got any cinnamon rolls

he said NAH were out of cinnamon rolls

i said you got any apple fritters

he said NAH we’re out of apple fritters

i said YOU GOT ANY BEAR CLAWS??!?!?

he said… wait a minute, i’ll go check

epic guitar solo

NO WERE OUT OF BEAR CLAWS

i said "well, in that case, in that case, what do you have?"

he says "all i got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels"

i said "ok, i'll take that"

so he hands me the box and i open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they start biting me all over

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