. . . In my defense, I wasn't expecting her to hit me with the Joey Fisher treatment.
Icelandic Waters: “These guys were one letter away from becoming the people who go through the fridge at 3:27am looking for string cheese to eat.“
Icelandic Water Dragon: “. . . that’s an inside joke, not a reference . . .“
We are so back! I’m sure that 65536 was tired of my jabbering, even if it was beneficial to the cause. I can’t even begin to recount what I’ve been doing while my favorite venting site went offline . . .
On March 8th of 2024, my reality was kind of completely shattered.
*bounces eyebrows*
Icelandic Waters: “Behold . . . the Singleplayer Avocado. A vehicle that maximizes comfort, velocity, and ground impact noise. A revolutionary system of compound motors and omni-wheels maximizes RPM. Completely impervious to small bumps. Forward tire grip: minimal. Lateral tire grip: nonexistent. Works best on flat ground; performance not guaranteed on sloped surfaces. Pending global certification from the Department of Transportation; available for public use in participating legal districts.”
Does that mean that the US is going to be testing the National Alert System tomorrow? I've been putting off my research, it's really late, and I don't want to get jumpscared tomorrow…
FACT: I heard a story about a student who had covertly planted a network of Bluetooth speakers in their school. They had somehow hidden six speakers in the ceiling tiles of each classroom, spread out to make it harder to tell where the sound was coming from. They were planning to prank the school by playing ghost noises over the speakers, but instead, they accidentally left their phone connected to the speaker network while casually watching videos, and . . . let's just say that they ended up causing a school lockdown.
I ACCIDENTALLY SCREENCASTED THE GRANDMA GOT BLOWN UP BY A BAZOOKA SONG ON A TV IN THE SCHOOL HALLWAY FUCKING HELPpPPP
FACT: The QR code standard was created by a car manufacturing firm as an alternative to barcodes, meant to store more data while remaining just as easy to scan. While it was initially meant for private use, they neglected to enforce their patent on the standard, and it started being used publicly.
Also, there is no such things as “running out of QR codes”. That's like saying that we've run out of SHA256 hashes.
Name two video game fandoms in which you can use the phrase “flaming rocket-powered crucifixion-mobile“ in a sentence without anyone batting an eye. I’ll wait. I'll applaud you if you can at least name the first one . . .
*clears throat* I am once again reminding you that the Unsustainability is a cognitohazard that can cause panic attacks, caused directly by being uncomfortably aware of the fact that you are seeing and perceiving. It isn't linked to anything past that; it's just caused by being aware of your lucidity. It will only cause anxiety if you actively think about it.
I am once again reminding you that the Unsustainability is a form of insanity caused by being aware of perception, characterized by physical and vocal spasming.
FACT: According to my sources, a 30-second advertisement slot on this year’s Super Bowl will run you $10,000,000 (10 million) USD. That scales to roughly $333,333/sec. Have fun raising that money, and don’t touch the duck!
Have you ever thought about what it’s like to be a hydra - or part of one? As an extremely introverted person, the idea of being permanently stuck to other people, with little to no bodily autonomy, is flat-out terrifying. I wrote a short essay on the topic for my journal, and my hypotheses on the topic are somewhat concerning. In a nutshell, my consensus is that growing up in the backseat would seriously impact the development of your personality due to your reduced ability to self-actualize, and being thrown into the backseat after the fact is a recipe for disaster.