@androm3da

whoever said the history test was difficult lied

i love that i woke up this morning to discover that theres now power to my house bc some stupid person crashed into the power box by the intersection (again) which should obviously only turn off the power for my house because my house wants to be sooooo special and be on the circuit with the light

auditioning for a drum corp today

ZORK IS OPEN SOURCE

IM NOT LESBIAN

NEW PHONE IDEA:

• teachers put your phones on the ceiling so you’re like “oh noooo im too short to get my phoooone”

• at the end of class they press a button that drops them all at once

• ensuing highly interesting court cases of parents suing schools

“Never in my 14 years of teaching have I ever seen this type of behavior”

History teacher part 2

EVIL FRIENDS FORCING ME TO PRESENT

oh then she ate her raffle ticket

“im my FIFTEEN years of teaching I have never had a class this SPECIAL. and you are my SMALLEST class. tsk tsk tsk”

-my impression of my history teacher

i’m making my english class do speed dating today

how accurate would the national weather service api be

how to make a turkey according to my orchestra director

1. bake it in mayonnaise

2. inject it with butter and spices (loooots of butter)

3. in the last hour, wrap it in butchers inch thick bacon

4. put it on pizza

i just saw an ad for tim hortons

new quotes from me

“i would sleep with a hippo”

“we’re eating duck poop”

“Wily whistler” (GUYS THIS IS A FISH SPECIES IM NOT WEIRD)

so like how do you stop the rumors that you’re dating your friend…