oh and we were out when he died lmao so i didnt get to say goodbye how i wanted but at least i said i love you before we left and he said it to my mom and she keeps telling everyone he said it back to me but he didnt and i never told her he did !! and cps came the next day because they thought i was required to take care of him alone and that was what my last conversation with him was about !! and i was mad at him because he was planning nto tell them something which would paint my health as being ignored because he thought he was the focal point of the conversation wtih them because aps had just come that day ! and I HAVE NO FRIENDS i legit have no one to tell except i told my therapist when it happened. youre the only other person ive told. no one on scratch because i dont really talk there anymore because i feel like im wasting my life when im online but im online either way, im goofing off either way, ignoring my studies either way, and sometimes i ration its more productive to come on here than , say, watch youtube or something so i feel like i have friends, but im realizing lwk i have neglected all my friends and so like i dont have any anymore. and sure thats my fault but i just feel so fricking alone and so angry and i have for months and i am going insane. but thats nothing to burden you with and i apologize i have so far . i just wish anything was still stable in my life i wish it was 2023 and my biggest worry was my parents realizing i have a favorite beatle.