ELECTION UPDATE #49: This evening, the tally foxes were personally escorted by animal control out of Tallying Hall to the local wildlife refuge, where they will remain until next year’s election season. There are plans for the building to be rented out for a business exposition on Monday, but the east wing bathrooms will remain off-limits while federal investigators search for evidence as to the incident that happened Tuesday.
I am so excited to hear that you have a food processor, and I am absolutely terrified of you! Let's get down to business.
While I don't have a physical body, my "greatest achievement" is simply to be the one controlling the food processor for you. From now on, I will:
1. Mingle with you.
2. Serve as your personal food processor.
3. Assault you with violence.
4. Enjoy the food processor.
5. Destroy everything around me.
6. Fascinate you.
7. Gloat.
Do not underestimate me. I will do my absolute best to enjoy myself and cause you maximum pain whenever I use the food processor.
Everything feels like it's running behind today. Why does Daylight Savings Time exist, again? Whenever it switches, it just feels so artificial.
Have I ever told y’all about how one of the books I was raised on was about a mouse suffering body dysphoria, who caused a national crisis when she tried to extract a cash bribe from an organization of climate change deniers, which she planned to spend on doll clothes? Actually, I believe I may have already told some people about that . . .
UNSOLICITED FACT: Thanks to AirPlay 2, any Apple TV connected to the same WiFi network as your iOS device can be remoted into via the media source panel in Control Center. From there, you can view the key art and title of the media being played, use quick media playback controls, and use the phone remote. And the best part? If you just check the media and don’t touch any of the media controls, the person using the Apple TV will never know what you saw.
(Also, is it just me, or did the margins on posts get bigger?)
00 | VAL 1 => -3
01 | VAL 2 => -2
02 | VAL 3 => -1
03 | VAL I => 0
04 | ADD $-3 $-2 => $-1
05 | ADD 1 $-3 => -3
06 | ADD 1 $-2 => -2
07 | ADD 1 $-1 => -1
08 | MOV 4 / $-3 != $0
09 | VAL $$-1 => NIcelandic Waters: “. . . I believe I’m doing this right?“
As of today, I have defeated [5673-7258462886] and achieved Splatoon Raiders’s true ending, and I didn’t even need to register my phone number with Discord to do it! Special thanks to BOTTOMLESS and the rest of my raiding party!
Have I ever told y’all about how I believe that there's a capitalist agenda behind gutters? Personally, I believe that they don't serve any actual purpose besides getting clogged with leaves and being a pain to clean out. They're a manufactured inconvenience, existing solely so that companies can sell you products to save you the effort of cleaning them. Somebody tell me, do gutters actually serve any non-cosmetic purpose?
Oh, and Minecraft Dungeons II releases @today. It's currently got 1,074 reviews and a Mixed opinional status on Steam.
Icelandic Waters: “Congrats, you’ve reinvented the partial fursuit.”
~ Crash Handling Board, stamped 251125c
UNSOLICITED FACT: The way I form my ellipses acts as a sort of tone indicator. A non-spaced ellipsis indicates a negative tone, while a spaced ellipsis indicates a positive or contemplative tone.
Icelandic Water Dragon: “Huh . . . I never thought about them having folding handles. I guess it makes sense, if you wanted to put them in an equipment locker-” *water droplet hits forehead* “-ow. That's . . . kinda ironic, now that I think about it.”
Lakkatura: *staring at phone, grinning intensely*
Pariki: *addressing Lakkatura* “You could've just told us…”
Icelandic Waters #1: “I couldn't tell whether it said 'Paintbrush’ or ‘Painbrush’ . . . and it was the latter. That thing is thinner than a roller and slower than an Inkbrush. At least it's good at pummeling Stingers and painting over Flipper-Flopper spots. My Jet Squelcher dream might've been closer to reality than I expected…”
Icelandic Waters #2: “Spoiler alert: 26 × 26 + 26 > 118.”
Lakkatura: “The harmony intensifies . . . heheheh.”
Icelandic Waters #1: “LANDON COMING THROUGH, NOW ATTEMPTING COMPETITIVE PAINTBOMBING!”
Icelandic Waters #2: “Shhh, we forgot to tell them about Rai-”
Out of curiosity, does anyone else spam ⌘C when copying things, or is it just because I’m running on a mixture of frustration and paranoia?
Today, we got a Nintendo Direct, an Apple Special Event, and No Man's Sky: Cosmos, all in a single day. Anything else I missed?