“Apple Acquires Blaze At Bankruptcy Auction, Announces Intention To Make Website Easy For General Public To Use; New Name Is iBlaze SE Air Mini Pro Max XR Touch Shuffle Nano Lite XL & Knuckles 2: Electric Blazealoo, Starts at $7999 A Month; Includes Free KyleTech Album That Can’t Be Uninstalled”

…yeah there’s probably a way more concise way to say all that…

We would like to congratulate you in typing a headline so long that it is essentially one quarter of an entire Wasted Onion article. Now stand back, let the coked-up professionals take over.

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