“Continuing Journey to Watch Every Movie Ever Made, Eris Rates Third Movie 10/10”
(context: https://alpha.wasteof.money/posts/6975a9af6883bd038172f8d5)
(if you actually use this, feel free to also credit @stareye since i accidentally came up with the same joke as them)
Don’t worry, we’ll be sure to credit only ourselves, stealing your hard labour for our own gain like the mega corporation we are.
Thank you for the correction, leaning on chopsticks would be even harder than trying to use them to eat.
(for context, he’s a somewhat famous character from a molson beer commercial from the 90s)
Thank you for what is so far one of the most niche headlines this organisation has ever gotten in its over 100 year existence.
“Following Unanimous Vote, ‘Octuple Glep’ by @noodle Added To Lativion “Late” The Idiot Vice Presidential Library & Art Museum”
“President Kiwi announces ‘The Wasting Games’ on live television where one highschool boy and one highschool girl from each state and territory will compete to waste as much money as possible.”
“President Kiwi Reflects on Childhood In New Memoir; Admits That ‘Growing Up, People Kept Asking Me If I Lived In New Zealand For Some Reason’”
“Let me tell you, this thing? Incredibly cheap. So cheap you’re gonna look at it and say, ‘How is this even possible?’ I know prices, nobody knows prices like I do and this is the cheapest it’ll ever be”