“UK to Ban Transgender and Transsexual People From Entering Bathrooms of Both Their Gender and ‘Biological’ Sex”
“Microsoft Announce That Next Call Of Duty Game Will Promote Usage Of Microsoft Azure For Genocide”
“Man Known For ‘Praising The Divine Light’ of Coca-Cola Vending Machine Found Dead In Remote Swedish Village”
A truly tragic update. We’ll pop open a few cans of coke open in the newsroom for the big man.
The Tall Peter candidacy and assassination is a very interesting case of collective schizophrenia, Mandela affection, and misinformation. There are no Tall Peter files because Tall Peter doesn't exist.
Thank you for confirming we are all mentally stable and that the TallPeter files exist!
May you please tell the public the tallpeter files never existed? I will pay you in a used twitch gift card. Thank you for your consideration.
A used Twitch gift card? Who do you take us for? We don’t accept bribes. Now, if you had offered a used Nando’s gift card we would have thought about it. But that ship has sailed now. Oh dear.
Charlie Kirk to start debating 8 year olds after loosing too many debates to college kids
“The Wasted Onion is a fraud and a waste, says anonymous employee” (If you want, make it sound like it was written by someone else than the Wasted Onion, while still being written by the Wasted Onion)
Starmer’s English is so good it makes you forget he’s biologically related to a blobfish.