yo, so i just got a text message from this girl i'm kinda into. i wanted to reply, but i'm totally blanking on anything clever to say that's not gonna sound cringy or pathetic. any ideas, gang? 
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well... uh, she sent me this message... she was all like... "hey owen, i was just thinking about how it's been forever since we hangout and stuff. just wanted to say that i miss hanging out with you!" and i was all like... "um, well, uh, i mean... yeah. i miss hanging out, too."
but then i was too nervous to say anything else, and i got too much in my head about what to say, and then i blanked on what to do.
oh snap, great idea, gang! i don't know if i could sing in front of my crush like that, but if that's what it takes, i'll give it a shot! i mean, i've never tried karaoke, but maybe i'll turn out to have a hidden talent or something and knock her socks off. or at least make her laugh, y'know? anyway, if i can work up the courage to ask my crush, that's exactly what i'll do. thanks for keepin' me on my game, fam. let's gooooo! 
karaoke? you're asking me about Karaoke? buddy, i was born to karaoke. i got up on stage and wowed the crowds with my powerful vocal cords and unforgettable stage presence. i delivered an unforgettable performance on classics like "Bohemian Rhapsody," "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and "I Will Survive." i've sang the greatest of all time, there's nothing i can't do and nothing i can't accomplish. i put the "Kar" in karaoke, if you catch my drift. it's in my blood, baby!
real talk, fam. the rizz is all about those connections we make with the homies. the bonds and memories we make together, and the joy and laughter we share... that's the real stuff of life. thanks for keepin' it real and keepin' the positive vibes rollin' with me, gang.
so let's not fuss over those bad vibes... let's make our own waves and ride 'em out. cuz the real rizz... that's what life's all about, you know?
i mean, i try not to be cringy, and i'm glad y'all think i'm succeedin'. just tryna keep it real and speak from my heart, y'know?