way back when i was just a little bitty boy livin in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from jerry’s bait shop
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it's some big fat hermaphrodite with a flock-of-seagulls haircut and only one nostril. oh man, i hate it when i’m right…
so anyway he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel and im like
“hey you cant have that
that snorkel’s been just like a snorkel to me“
and he’s like “tough“
and i’m like “give it“
and he’s like “make me“
and i’m like “‘kay“
so i grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus and i bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows and i took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation
yes indeed, you better believe it
inhale
and somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook
and 20 seconds later i heard a familiar voice
it said
IF YOUD LIKE TO MAKE A CALL
PLEASE HANG UP AND TRY AGAIN
IF YOU NEED HELP HANG UP AND THEN DIAL YOUR OOOOOPERATOR