way back when i was just a little bitty boy livin in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from jerry’s bait shop

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D̶̡̢͙͕̣͕͉͚̦̳̺͙̻͙̼̫̄͋̈́́̍̑́̈́͋ͅO̷̡̨̞͓̠̥͖̓̏͛̉̓̔͗͌͘͝H̵̹̼̜͇̹͓͍͕̝̻̮̩̗͉̥͍̖͎͙̘̾͒̋̽̎̊͋̂̾͊̅̉̏͜ͅ ̸̡̢͙̱̭̤̹̘̗͇̻̼͚͚̤͚̈́̑́͊̒̑͌̇͐́͛̿͊͂̕͘͜ͅĢ̵̖̳͖͍͇̮̀̑̆̈͋͆͛̀͑̎̂̿̋͊̎̽̀̚͝E̷͎̯̹̪̘̯̺̱͈͐͛̀͒̓̓̑͜͝Ṱ̸̨̧̙͓̗̭͇̩̦͚̭̪̈́̀̔̆͂̇̓̿̀̚͝ͅ ̸̨̺̠̠̤͈̫̪̭͚̯̬̩̜͍͔͕̗̹͍̖̩̻̑Ę̵̟̹̮̻̮̺̮͍͈̤͓̝̺̟̾̿̓̾̎̊͊̕͜M̶̨̨̟͇̮͈̰͍̭̬̮̺̹̈́̆͑̒̀͋͛̂̚ͅ ̵̛̲̄͊̄̓̃͌̿̍̅͑͑̓̉͗̋̚͠O̶̱̭̩͖̥̥̐̕F̷̧̢̛̰͖͍̬̠̘̣̬͔̰̟̳̮͔̻̳̬͖̫̠̑̊̓͋̔̂̋̊͆̏́̍̈̊̈̈́̂̌̇̈́͜F̵̡̧̨͎̺̙̫̜̜͇͚̟̣̲̘͔͖͎̜̂̄̀̎̄̐̍̆̉̎̉̊̉̃̑̕̕͜ ̶̩̦̆M̶̜̟͖̰̔̓́Ę̷͚͖̺̻͉͍̼̺̜̲͈͔̀̒͊̄͑͋̅̽̿̅͊͛̎̂͘̚͝͝ ̷̙̠͓̃͂̔̂̊̈́́͐̇́̆͑́͊G̴̢̰̦̬̞̹̩̝̤̱̹̥̲̰̞̣̖̙̳̓͋͗̈́͑̈́́̆͜͠͝Ë̵̡̨̝̖̙́͛̈́͋͆̏̓T̸̨͇̞͇͎͍̎͊ ̵̺̣͉̤͕̙͍̻̜̖͉͓̯̳̑͗̏̆͗͊͘͜ͅḚ̶̛̭̞̮̩͎̞͔͗̈́͐̎̆̐̃̒̆̒̓̕͝Ḿ̵̱̗̤͍̫̯͈̜̜̝̹͌̑̀̏̎̒̍̑͊̾͆̉͘͠ ̶̨̨̰͖̞̲̥̭̪̳͉̜͙̈́̑̈̈́̓̊͗̈́̂̐̅̍͛͂̌͌̀̀̓̕̕̚͝Ǫ̸̤͍͈̜͕̼͔̘̞̜̥͙͓͕̣̗͐̌̚F̸̡̛̭̥̞͓̤͚̗͙͓̪͉̥͖͂̐̈́̓̋̋̆͐̑̌̊͝F̴̡̨̼̫̹̹̰͎̥̹̍͐̍̏̆͜͝ ̵̜̹͔̹̤̟̳͓̳̙̲̱͈͍̻̲͍͓͙̰́̉͐̀̓͌͜ͅM̶͙̪̝͓͌͛̈́̽̄̉̐̎͋̑̓͛̒́͒̆̆͜͝Ë̵̺͖̥́͗̂̓̌̊͌̊̇͑͒̑̒͂̒͒͑͛͗͒̚ ̶̨̢̟̹͓̠͚̘̮͙̖̮͍̜̤̙͚̣̈́̔̉̀̓͗O̶͓̊̒̊͌͌͑̿͋̊̒͆̃̎͝Ḫ̴̨̧̺̠̫̯͓̤̖̻͓̦͇̐̅̄̑̋͜͜͜ ̵̲͈̤̹͖̪͎̯͍̮̙̓̔̓̃́̾͐̈̄̀͑̐͒̓̋̓̿̕̕͝N̸̟̯̰̯͍͚͒͐̔Ỏ̷̙̥̦̪͕̯̜͈̔͐̆̃̈̅̊̊̈́̀͘͠ ̷̢̢͔̻͎̦͚̼̬̻̼̬̪͕̞̟͇͔̅͑̋̽̀̊͗̈́̂̋̏̕͘͜͝͝G̵̠̘̜͍̯̰̪̱̭͍̣̼̜̟̙̜̻͕͔̐͑͆̓̀̇̐̀͗͋͌̆̕̕͜Ḙ̴̢̧̮̦̖̯̥̣̱͍̟̐́͒̈̊̍͝ͅT̶̨̨̡̛̼͖̹͈̦̥̘̜̗̤̣̫͔̹̞̭̠̍͋̽͂̈̆̑̓́͐̈͌̎̋́͆̊͠ ̸̖͔͎̱͚̬̙̹̳̚Ę̵̳͎͔͓̪͖͖͚̤̖̠͓͓̀͐̆̎͜͝ͅM̷̧̡̨͈̥̭̣̞̙̱̙̗̤̻̝̉ ̸̨̨̫̣̜͖͉͚̟͙͇̩̮͕̺̳̿̈́̈́̿̈́̉́̇̂̋̄͜ͅO̵̫̗͕͋̿̓͝F̷̠̩͈̗͊̏͐͊̀̿̏͑̂F̴̧̧̺̺͎̱̩̞̯̫͎̥͕̘͎̬͓͙̬̠̩̳̾̐̅̅̽̔̌̀̾̔͠͠ ̸̧̢̼̠̫͈̹̱̝̫̫̳̯̠͒͒̓̈́̒̎̇̿͊͜M̵̟͇͓̐̑̌͜E̴̻̮̿̾̿̎̍͆̚͝ ̸̢̫͈͈̖̼̘̝̠͍̼͔͍̀̏̀̄̉͆Ḁ̴̜̻͑͌̈́̾́̎̓̾͊̽̃͆̑̈H̴̢̢̭̜̝͓̫̩͎̫̜̺̥̰̃͛̐̏͒̽̌̾̀͑̿̉̈́̔̓̚͠͝ ̷͍̲̠̯̠̰̭͓̝͚̤̯͈̆̌́̓̋̍̅͌̈́̒̕͝͝͝Â̵̛̙͑̈́̊̓̚H̴̨͍̱͔̗͔̱̪̥̄̃̾̋̚Ḩ̵̡̢̫̥͔̫̰̙̜̟̥̰̦̼̖̭̠͍̓͂̐̈́̑̆̐̈́̾̐͋̅̍̋͑̕̕͜͝͠ͅͅ ̶̨͇̠͔̗̝̬͇͎̭̯̫̣̭͕͎͍̱̠̀̆͋̍̑̓̇̐́͛̿̈́̒̂͌͠Ǎ̷̛̗̼̤̤̙͔̣̞̖͔̩͕̠̥̠̳͚̙̟̞͚̑̔̀̂́̽̇͛͆̄͛̌̎̏̋̄͒̀͊̕͜͜H̸̛̆̍̎̕̚

i ran out on the street with these flesh eating weasels on my face

like a constipated wiener dog

…and as luck would have it, that's exactly when i ran into the girl of my dreams

her name was zelda

she was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches

i'll never forget the very first thing she said to me

she said "hey, you've got weasels on your face"

thats when i knew it was true love

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