@nihilev

about this alt

this is @mef’s alt for anything exceptionally strange

this includes:

• posts that I would consider too weird to post on my main with over 100 followers

• brain logs (odd internal conversations, mental catastrophes, and various other things)

• stuff about OCs, or even self aware ones posting on this account (this account was originally made for my OC Nihilev)

• and more

ANY POSTS MADE ABOUT IDENTITY ARE NOT NECESSARILY CONFIRMATION AND ARE OFTEN EXPERIMENTATION

fun fact:
the voice I use internally is very deep and robotic,
similar to the voice of the Cyclops submarine from Subnautica.
I don't exactly know why, my voice irl is definitely not deep,
I just kinda vibe with it.

me: ughhh this game sucks the gameplay is so boring and half the economy is gambling

also me: omg I am so cute look at me ::3 I will maul you but ignore that I’m so cute how could you be mad at me when I look like this

I was so done with an uncooperative thoughtstream that I ran

> euthanize

on it and it somehow just worked

btw I’m not always a dragon or some sort of creature, a lot of the time I’m just some guy but you’ll never know when I think that’s really fun

I really need to stop worrying about the fact that a lot of people probably consider
me to be a furry.
I'm super anxious that people will associate me with the parts that I don't like.
but I've got to realize that I'm just me and its just a label which I happen to fit.
like, there are certainly parts I don't like,
but also this is cool as fuck \/

[ IMAGE BY @/kelocitta ON TUMBLR https://www.tumblr.com/kelocitta/754815180714688512/ended-up-using-that-cyan-lizard-as-a-jumping-off?source=share ]

for all the parts I get worried about being associated with, there's also all of the
stuff that I really like.
I doubt that being something other than human is ever going to stop being part
of my identity.
and there's always going to be people who make stuff you don't like that might be
associated with what you do like.
I'm not comfortable with calling myself a furry, (so please don't call me one)
but I'm not going to deny it either,
its just a label.

[ status update ]
dragon system status: no
stimulation: meh
BIOS (biological systems): not dying
NERVOS (external nervous system): ok
NEUROS (internal nervous system): *hg*
fuel levels: ok
internal temperature: ok
external temperature: hot
emotional status: flat
generative systems: nuh uh
cognitive status: not tested, not feeling like doing it
hydration: probably should drink more water
fixing hydration...
done.
nasal status: less clogged, hurts
reaction times: ok
focus: meh
energy levels: moderately low
[ end ]

there are 30 diseased individuals now following me

I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL
I DESERVE TO HAVE A BIG TAIL

meeeee

rivulet version

HELP
how do I purge my subconscious short term memory cache
I try launching a simulation but it’s just Deep Rock Galactic and I can’t close it

[worldgen progress]
we should make it fun
but like also nihilistic
and feral
yeah smack those together that sounds good

mess with your own identity settings
trust me its fun
turn off the safeties
yeah and that one too

SCREWING AROUND IN THE ALL TOO EMPTY VOID
SMACK IT SMACK IT SMACK IT SMACK IT

I should make a slugcatsona…

oh hey maybe it would be easier to generate a world if we just removed the
requirement for it to make sense
just smack together the stuff we like and mess around with it
yea
maybe that'll work
(it said for the 50th time)