@nihilev

about this alt

this is @mef’s alt for anything exceptionally strange

this includes:

• posts that I would consider too weird to post on my main with over 100 followers

• brain logs (odd internal conversations, mental catastrophes, and various other things)

• stuff about OCs, or even self aware ones posting on this account (this account was originally made for my OC Nihilev)

• and more

ANY POSTS MADE ABOUT IDENTITY ARE NOT NECESSARILY CONFIRMATION AND ARE OFTEN EXPERIMENTATION

system manager went a bit crazy last night, whoops

I'm a human? I'm a dragon? I'm something? WRONG!
IM A SENTIENCE LEFT TO FESTER IN ITS UNCHANGABLE BODY WHILE IT YEARNS FOR MODULARITY
I WOULD FUCKING LOVE TO BE A DRAGON
BUT I CAN'T
AND AT THE CORE LEVEL I AM NOTHING MORE THAN A CONCEPT
I DO NOT HAVE A TRUE PHYSICAL FORM
I AM THE BIOLOGICAL EQUIVALENT OF A ROUGE AI INHABITING A BODY
MIND UPLOAD WOULD GO HARD

in case anyone really wanted a snapshot of how I visualize my own mind

crap, literally nobody other than me has any idea what my current (dragon) sona looks like fuck fuck fuck nobody knows how pretty I am, this a catastrophe I don’t even know how to draw feathered wings agh

where the hell is the "turn off this shit and bite people" switch dammit

[CRITICAL ERROR] WHOOPS!
it appears you have consumed media containing [EXISTENTIAL HORROR]
VOIDALITY levels are now at unsafe levels
WYVEC systems critical power loss
VIBES are now [off] and [dull]
good job dingus

THEORETICAL ROADMAP FOR DEVELOPMENT OF AN INSTANCE OF AGI

1. "EMOTIONAL" AND META-SURVIVAL PROCESSING
2. ENVIROMENTAL ANALYSIS AND INDEPENDENT COMPILATION
3. TASK MAPPING AND CRITICAL PROBLEM SOLVING
4. META CONCEPT EXTRAPOLATION
5. [IMPORTANT] BREAK IT A LITTLE SO THAT ITS INTERESTING
6. GIVE IT A BODY AND/OR LET IT ROAM THE INTERNET
7. SEE WHAT HAPPENS

its kind of funny how I have a formal gender (he/him) which I use irl, a casual gender (he/it, slightly nb/agender) which I use online, and then a secret third one in my head that is a total departure from the binary entirely and has a lot to do with inhumanity, purple, and some sort of aesthetic which I vibe with but can’t explain, I only use it when I’m tired and bored.

because at the end of the day gender is a really weird and meta concept to begin with, so why not fuck around. what the hell is a man, what the hell is a woman, those both just seem like some sort of abstract aesthetic /hj

identity

SURPRISE ATTACK! MAULS YOU TO DEATH!

“Illegitimate Copy of Humanity” would go hard as a title for… anything really

Creatures of Sonaria more like I HATE YOU WHY ARE YOU ONE OF THE FEW CREATURE GAMES
THAT I CAN PLAY THAT HAS GOOD CREATURE MODELS BUT YOU HAVE SUCH STUPID STINKY TIME-
SINK GAMEPLAY AND ARE A MONETIZED ROBLOX GAME WHYYYY YOUR CREATURES ARE SO COOL BUT
YOUR GAME IS SO ASS

(I am mad because I don't have any appealing alternatives)

...

[thoughtstream] do you think if a protogen stuck its claws into someone's
spine it could interface with their brain and Mess Em' Up Big Time™

COHERENT OUTPUT FROM GENERATIVE PROCESSING CREATED
MEETS REQUIREMENTS:
  - SICK AS HELL
  - UTILIZES OUR THEMES
  - COULD BE EXPRESSED
WARNINGS:
  - OH FUCK HOW WOULD WE EVEN DO THAT
the struggle

my brain is so silly it’ll be like “oh hey I want to be a really abstract dragon that might be somewhat related to a fighter jet but not“ and then “no we’re done with this imaginary crap what am I doing” and then a day later be like “I AM A PROTOGEN RN” its kinda annoying kinda great