By The Wasted Onion: Marco Rubio Orders State Department To Replace Calibri Font With Wingdings
WASHINGTON—Insisting that the Biden-era directive was “wasteful” and “embarrassing,” Secretary of State Marco Rubio has ordered the State Department replace the Calibri typeface with Wingdings in all official paperwork. “I am determined to root out woke DEI wherever it hides. With this in mind, I have officially ordered the State Department to use Wingdings in all official documentation, effective immediately. Switching to Calibri achieved nothing except the degradation of the department's correspondence. This change to Wingdings ensures we display the very best of America in everything we do by refusing to use words and instead communicating only in simple symbols like cavemen,” said Rubio while fumbling his words trying to read the TelePrompter written in the Wingdings typeface. “🕈︎︎♏︎︎ 🙵■︎︎□︎︎⬥︎︎ ⧫︎︎♒︎︎♏︎︎ ●︎︎♓︎︎♌︎︎♏︎︎❒︎︎♋︎︎●︎︎ ❍︎︎♋︎︎♓︎︎■︎︎⬧︎︎⧫︎︎❒︎︎♏︎︎♋︎︎❍︎︎ ❍︎︎♏︎︎♎︎︎♓︎︎♋︎︎ ⬥︎︎♓︎︎●︎︎●︎︎ ❍︎︎□︎︎♍︎︎🙵 ⧫︎︎♒︎︎♏︎︎ 
︎︎⧫︎︎♋︎︎⧫︎︎♏︎︎ 
︎︎♏︎︎◻︎︎♋︎︎❒︎︎⧫︎︎❍︎︎♏︎︎■︎︎⧫︎︎ ♐︎︎□︎︎❒︎︎ ⧫︎︎♒︎︎♓︎︎⬧︎︎ ♍︎︎♒︎︎♋︎︎■︎︎♑︎︎♏︎︎
︎︎ ⧫︎︎♒︎︎♏︎︎⍓︎︎ॐ︎︎●︎︎●︎︎ ⬧︎︎♋︎︎⍓︎︎ ♓︎︎⧫︎︎⬧︎︎ ‘♌︎︎♋︎︎♎︎︎ ♐︎︎□︎︎❒︎︎ ♋︎︎♍︎︎♍︎︎♏︎︎⬧︎︎⬧︎︎♓︎︎♌︎︎♓︎︎●︎︎♓︎︎⧫︎︎⍓︎︎
︎︎’ 
︎︎◆︎︎⧫︎︎ ⬥︎︎♏︎︎ ♎︎︎□︎︎ ■︎︎□︎︎⧫︎︎ ♍︎︎♋︎︎❒︎︎♏︎︎︎︎ ♐︎︎◆︎︎♍︎︎🙵 ⧫︎︎♒︎︎♏︎︎ ❖︎︎♓︎︎⬧︎︎◆︎︎♋︎︎●︎︎●︎︎⍓︎︎ ♓︎︎❍︎︎◻︎︎♋︎︎♓︎︎❒︎︎♏︎︎♎︎︎,” said the State Department in a official press release following media criticism. Following the order, type designers around the world were heard nerding out about fonts even louder than normal, and experts expect the insistent blabbering about serifs and sans-serifs for another week, advising the public to purchase earplugs to drown out the dorks. At press time, the State Department headquarters exploded following a communication in Wingdings that was misinterpreted by a technician as instructing him to press the “blow the whole darn building up” button.
(experimental) mobile formatting support has officially been deployed to https://3xion.tech/
it no longer looks like an actual cognitohazard on phone screens
(it still looks shitty on most phones and there are definitely more formatting bugs i have to take care of but hey at least the text is legible now ok)
if anybody cracks the cipher below they are officially the smartest money waster
RTxY3mzfyPxPyRY4xdxN2
178483.5484
7.2137562
compsci teacher burnt herself by mistaking a transistor for a temperature sensor 
in her defense, 2n2222 transistors and tmp32 temperature sensors look exactly the same
the sound of a power drill really helped my focus a lot
wild kratts was rated g
MPA Rates ‘Zootopia 2’ PG-13 For Sexually Awakening Content
https://theonion.com/mpa-rates-zootopia-2-pg-13-for-sexually-awakening-content/
rects = [[int(input("Length 1: ")), int(input("Width 1: "))], [int(input("Length 2: ")), int(input("Width 2: "))]]
print("Rect 1 is bigger" if ((rects[0][0] * rects[0][1]) > (rects[1][0] * rects[1][1])) else "Rect 2 is bigger" if ((rects[0][0] * rects[0][1]) < (rects[1][0] * rects[1][1])) else "They're the same")
#MINIFICATIONi submitted this program to my teacher
god i love running sudo pacman -S nerd-fonts and accidentally installing 68 font packs on my system