the onion has been having a field day with these titles recently
By The Wasted Onion: Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor Arrested, Has Penis Cut Off
SANDRINGHAM, ENGLAND—Facing mounting questions regarding the former prince's relationship with convicted child sex offender and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested by Thames Valley Police Thursday morning at the Sandringham Estate before having his penis cut off while in custody. "As part of the investigation, we have today arrested a man in his sixties from Norfolk on suspicion of misconduct in public office and are carrying out searches at addresses in Berkshire and Norfolk. The man remains in police custody at this time. We have also removed the mans genitals as a precaution," said a statement in part published on the Thames Valley Police's website. "I have learned with the deepest concern the news about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and suspicion of misconduct in public office. What now follows is the full, fair and proper process by which this issue is investigated in the appropriate manner and that his genitals are removed by the appropriate authorities," said a statement from King Charles III. Later, details divulged regarding the arrest of Andrew revealed that the former prince was dragged kicking and screaming into the back of a unmarked police car where a plain-clothes police officer used a rusty hacksaw to mutilate and remove his tiny, shrivelled-up penis. At press time, Peter Mandelson, who was dismissed as British Ambassador to the United States after documents in the Epstein files revealed he had a close relationship with Epstein, had reportedly cut his own penis off with a kitchen knife out of fear the police would do it for him after learning of the arrest of Andrew.
i just submitted a compiled python binary to my compsci teacher with full knowledge that i wrote it on arch linux and that it will not work on his windows machine
i made an aur package with an actual real life use case!!
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why do your history work when you can read The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy instead?
me when i echo "c" > /proc/sysrq-trigger on every linux device on the school network
that was the most boring super bowl ever
i was literally asleep for the first three quarters
i was gonna rant about not having a place to rant
i seem to remember you bugging me last night about wasteof being down so there’s no “was gonna” about it
stupid idiot
i was gonna post something funny then i realized wasteof was down so then i was gonna rant about not having a place to rant. now its open and i forget what i was gonna post originally because doing my math homework made me happy. but also i didn’t do the last three questions so idk if my teacher will hate me or not. so anyway i was gonna post something but like i forgot. so i think ‘im going crazy. crazy? i was crazy once. what am i saying i’m still crazy. also rats are cute. they’re so cuddly and adorable. i don’t get the hate. unless they’re ugly. then i get the hate. i want to go storm chasing but also like scary tornado. and what if i end up in enderlin 2.0? but seeing tornado would be SO COOL. but then again what if the tornado turns out like rainsville, el reno, joplin or tri-state. but that would be so cool. tornadoes are so cool
there have been legal cases decided over an oxford comma, so you are objectively wrong
for my whole life ive had a deep hatred of the oxford comma
but now my english teacher is forcing me to use it
it’s so pointless, ugly, unnecessary and stupid.
why add it? it makes list look full, difficult to read, busy, and complicated.
@jeffalo how painfully obvious is it that i only just learned how to use nodejs and bcrypt 
this could very well be some of if not the worst javascript ive ever written
our school asked me and @confusedg to make a web application where they could log chromebook repairs
@confusedg did the frontend and i did the backend, and i ended up making a couple of postgres databases, which was cool because i’ve never used postgres before this
the school conveniently forgot that they probably should have asked for superuser access to the database before i set it all up
i am now in control of everyone’s repair book accounts, the log databases, and the web app itself
they have mistakenly given me an unbelievably important thing to hold over their heads
@jeffalo please add dislikes so i can bomb this post
DID YOU KNOW
Rock beats scissors. Scissors beats paper. Paper beats rock.
And nothing beats a Jet2 Holiday
i showed this to someone and all they said was “prepare for dropped packets” and then they walked away
what beef could one possibly have with fortinet
