yippee !!!!

tysmmm cries it ok it was funni to see you have replied yipie sorry that sounded really choppy but i needed to specify the first part of mm my first message wasnt what i found funni. cries real tears

anyway uhm yeah its just it was lwk unexpected by ,,, at least me,, everyone looks at me like im insane when i say that and hes been like proper delirious the last three months so its just kind of insane nothing feels real ,,, haha, and in other news my therapist told me based on test results i have severe depression and severe anxiety, and ocd tendencies which might in time lead to a diagnosis of something if a i have something, b she notices more signs of it and c i follow up with a proper shrink (shes a therapist but not a psychologist so she can like listen to me and suggest things but not diagnose ) and a sensory processing disorder or something idk she said like three words ive never heard in my life and it revolved around sensory issues but yeah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we have to move in ten days thankfully we’re stayibng in the same complext but i just idk i have so many memories here and he legit died here so im partially really really thankful we’re moving but also omg i hate packing i hate moving i just wish life was how it was six months ago it seems like heaven compared to today i cant even describe . oh and I AM STILL NOT DONE WITH THE EIGHTH FREAKING GRADE IM NEARLY FIFTEEN….

and oh my GOD ive never wanted to chop all my hair off more in my life and people keep advising me against it I COULD PULL OFF A PIXIE CUT I NEED ALL THE HATERS TO HUSH OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG i cut off seven inches of my hair like four days ago omg i want the rest off so bad

oh and we were out when he died lmao so i didnt get to say goodbye how i wanted but at least i said i love you before we left and he said it to my mom and she keeps telling everyone he said it back to me but he didnt and i never told her he did !! and cps came the next day because they thought i was required to take care of him alone and that was what my last conversation with him was about !! and i was mad at him because he was planning nto tell them something which would paint my health as being ignored because he thought he was the focal point of the conversation wtih them because aps had just come that day ! and I HAVE NO FRIENDS i legit have no one to tell except i told my therapist when it happened. youre the only other person ive told. no one on scratch because i dont really talk there anymore because i feel like im wasting my life when im online but im online either way, im goofing off either way, ignoring my studies either way, and sometimes i ration its more productive to come on here than , say, watch youtube or something so i feel like i have friends, but im realizing lwk i have neglected all my friends and so like i dont have any anymore. and sure thats my fault but i just feel so fricking alone and so angry and i have for months and i am going insane. but thats nothing to burden you with and i apologize i have so far . i just wish anything was still stable in my life i wish it was 2023 and my biggest worry was my parents realizing i have a favorite beatle.