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@burrito
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village idiot
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dingleberries like ornaments on a Christmas tree

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moms will religiously police the tv volume to be below 10 constantly and then plop down on the couch and load up a 400 decibel facebook video on their phone

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why could I not get into wasteof for like a week I lost so many hilarious post ideas

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seated tricep extension should not be such an ab workout

“in nyc we hate tourists, they're so obnoxious! why would you ever come to this shithole” - just moved into a jersey suburb an hour and a half from the city

“yeah i don't really mind the tourists, you get used to them” - has spent 40 years living in manhattan

me when i lie

they shot trump

they shot trump

every day for a summer

the 14 shitters who liked this thank you for validating my anger

I HATE TRYING TO FART AND ACCIDENTALLY SHITTING MYSELF

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I'm too impatient to give myself the proper rest time between sets but also very easy to distract so I've just fixed this by finding an interesting Wikipedia article and reading it until I get bored

I HATE TRYING TO FART AND ACCIDENTALLY SHITTING MYSELF

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this looks like a shitpost it's funny as fuck

politics warning

this is a real tweet. we are in the dumbest timeline.

Screenshot-2025-07-12-at-23-50-47-Homeland-Security-DHSgov-Twitter.png
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quick PSA being 3 feet tall and addicted to creatine and pre doesn't make you healthy

nothing ever happens don't worry guys

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