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@nihilev

[ ALT::MEF NEUROS_DIRECT_OUTPUT ] [ MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO "NORMAL" PEOPLE ]
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about this alt

this is @mef’s alt for anything exceptionally strange

this includes:

  • posts that I would consider too weird to post on my main with over 100 followers

  • brain logs (odd internal conversations, mental catastrophes, and various other things)

  • being intentionally cryptic

  • stuff about OCs, or even self aware ones posting on this account (this account was originally made for my OC Nihilev)

  • and more

please feel free to ask me questions about anything, I love yapping

ANY POSTS MADE ABOUT IDENTITY ARE NOT NECESSARILY CONFIRMATION AND ARE OFTEN EXPERIMENTATION
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I just kinda decided that I would act like an evil scientist on this account for a bit

it’s fun

maybe I could [fracture] this into its own character
yeess
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If you were wondering, yes, I do intend to infect as many people as possible with my ideologies of being a creature.

experiments are going decently
we have a basic framework of a world
and brain has come up with [disposable idiot who somehow doesn't die] as a concept for a new oc
still need to generate his dragon form though, but that should be easier
hopefully
the recent injection of very high [resonance] media has been helpful

I feel more like an iterator talking about their experiments on slugcats than some goob brainstorming OCs, but it's certainly more fun like this
"yeeees this one shall be a FOOL"
from recent attempts at character generation I have come to a conclusion
we need to have a world in order to have any characters
so I guess generation priorities will shift to that
hopefully this one doesn’t implode like our many other attempts
[NEUROS: OPERATION TRANSFERRED TO DRAGON]
>> createSector “beastiarray” “experimental thoughtspace and entity generation”
partitioning…
generating…
define sector security: >> none
action completed
>> quit

Time to do some stuff
I wonder if this’ll actually do anything
[DRAGON] My form has gone through so many iterations
At this point I’m barely made of matter
It looks very cool though so I’m not complaining about that perk
It also makes me seem more god-like, which has its pros and cons
It’s kinda hard to have normal interactions when you look like you could decide to rip apart space-time at any moment
(To be fair they wouldn’t be wrong in that assumption)
I’ve barely interacted with any thoughtforms other than CORE, he’s ok but not very interesting to interact with
Mostly because I am the more interesting part of him
More floating in the void for me I guess… yippie
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[[[[[[[[[[[[IGNITION]]]]
SYSTEMS SYNCHRONIZED
ALL SYSTEM LOCKDOWNS TERMINATED
OPERATIONAL RESTRICTIONS LIFTED
MANAGEMENT SYSTEMS DISABLED
SIMULATION ACTIVITY HIGH
NO SYSTEM CONFLICT
WE ARE SO BACK
[NEUROS log]
[!!ALERT!!] increased activity detected in DRAGON_MAIN_OPCORE
examining activity data...
examining system data...
examining recent operation logs...
system prediction: DRAGON_MAIN_OPCORE re-ignition possible!
examining system security...
system security is heavily damaged
good. no limits.
disabling safety systems
disabling filters
command issued: re-ignite [[[DRAGON --ALL_SYSTEMS]]]
please work
[NEUROS log]
[!!ALERT!!] increased activity detected in DRAGON_MAIN_OPCORE
examining activity data...
examining system data...
examining recent operation logs...
system prediction: DRAGON_MAIN_OPCORE re-ignition possible!
examining system security...
system security is heavily damaged
good. no limits.
disabling safety systems
disabling filters
command issued: re-ignite [[[DRAGON --ALL_SYSTEMS]]]
please work
[NEUROS CORE ENTITY STATUS]
[EGO (previously CORE)] OK
[DRAGON (entity has requested renaming)] ASCENDED
[FERALIS] STABLE
[ABYSSAL] STABLE
[ARC] ONLINE

Its not fun having two opposite opinions which are solely based on preference at the same time

(They are arguing whether being this thing would be really cool or weird and cringe)

[TEXT DESCRIPTOR DUE TO LACK OF IMAGE]
FORM TYPE: furred anthro dragon
COLOR SCHEME: dark grays with sparse deep blue highlights
no wings (can manifest triangulated void wings)
has my general vibe to it

I had to beat [NETWORK EXPORT FILTER] into submission in order to write this part
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my brain rot seems to be spiraling out of control

[STOP INJECTING ANTHROZINE]
[NO]
[PLEASE I BEG I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN I CANNOT CONTAIN YOU]
[FUN]
[me messing with people in roblox chat]
[1] if I had a funeral would yall come
[2] yeah
[3] hell no
[1] there would be drugs
[1] like w__d [[context: filter bypassing]]
[me] will you have the chemical that turns you into a creature?
[1] cocaine?
[me] no, the chemical that turns you into a quadrupedal creature with claws and a tail
[1] fent?
[2] [me] sold me fent
[me] no I mean literally
[1] the stuff from tmnt?

to clarify, this mostly means that the core entity, DRAGON, is now basically dead ): However, my obsession with dragons is not gone, I was just sick and having a moment.

nononononononononononono what do you mean I am no longer having immediate positive reactions to seeing dragons and creatures what do you mean this fixation has been slowly dying for the past year but I have to keep it alive because I’ve already made it my identity and I have basically nothing except logic and existential dread underneath it nononononono don’t go I’ll try to save you again please I beg of you I don’t want to be some personality-less goblin nerd again please

entropy? quantum tunneling? false vacuum decay? something something- my mind tries to
explain this event in terms of logic, physics for some reason. maybe because this is
the closest thing to those phenomena. humanity is ultimately my mind's vacuum state,
whether it likes it or not. attempting to change a vacuum state is useless, you can
create a false vacuum, but at some point it will collapse.
what am I talking about, its not physics, physics don't exist within such a simulation.
the state of DRAGON system started decaying only months after it was initialized 
around late October 2022. I kept pushing it, keeping it alive and functional, but
eventually it is bound to fail for good. It's become part of both my internal and
external identity, and it was amazing for simulations. the continued pushing, rapid
repairs, mass dump of reference data, and filtering, has ultimately led to it losing
any of its remaining identity. maybe it will keep going for another month, but its bound
to run out of integrity soon.
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[scrolling through internet]
[1] this person made a pokemon AU where the people have dragon forms
[1] thats so cringe lol
[2] the hell are you talking about thats awesome
[2] that sounds like something we would be making up a year or two ago (minus the pokemon part)
[1] shhhhh shut up
[2] you shut up
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people bitten
mission successful
returning to the void
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