@slugcat

[FORCED TRANSMISSION FROM ADMINISTRATOR: FIVE PEBBLES]
ABOUT THIS SMALL CREATURE

species: slugcat
size: small
personality: pathetic wet rodent
known characteristics: bad luck, not courageous (to say the least), good at screaming
gender: ambiguous
pronouns: doesn't seem to care (any)
notes: "I've had several slugcats somehow make their way into my can, but
none could be more terrified and pathetic than this one. Biometric scans 
did not indicate brain damage or any genetic disorders which may have 
reasonably led to this fault in development, which came to my surprise. In 
a moment of sheer boredom I attached a transceiver to the creature and set 
them off to log their... misfortunes. I still do not understand why or how, 
but the transceiver also seems to send its messages to a 'website' with 
address https://wasteof.money in some sort of parallel universe. This 
phenomenon still baffles me, all attempts to understand it have resulted in 
convoluted paradoxes, but the denizens of the website seem to find it 
amusing, so I have not made any attempts to suppress these messages. the 
creature also seems to be able to receive and even send messages to and 
from this 'website', sometimes even leading to vivid hallucinations due to 
being connected to its nervous tissue (EX: the 'Nihilev' incident). If you 
are indeed viewing this from this wasteof.money website, I am curious to 
know what you think of this strange occurrence."

I like popcorn plants, they don’t eat me, they giv me free food

wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawa

vultures are very big and scary, especially when they have laser guided harpoon guns on their faces

Carmel colored lizards look chonky and the first time you see one your like: “oh, a chonky lizard, its probably pretty slow” WRONG it will machine gun spit at you and then do a backflip and grab you midair

wawawa

The rain is coming oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no

cyan lizards are scary until they throw themselves off a cliff and you you get to laugh at them because theyre stupid lizards

I am no longer sick from eating glue

I will not do that again because it feels bad

I wakey

Climbing poles is very fun until the pole grabs you back

Don’t eat glue it’s a very bad idea do not do it it sucks

The rot is too spooky and I hate it and its bad and bad

I hate white lizards, they’re too fast and sneaky and murdery

I eated all the glue ):

now tummy hurt

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa