@slugcat

[FORCED TRANSMISSION FROM ADMINISTRATOR: FIVE PEBBLES]
ABOUT THIS SMALL CREATURE

species: slugcat
size: small
personality: pathetic wet rodent
known characteristics: bad luck, not courageous (to say the least), good at screaming
gender: ambiguous
pronouns: doesn't seem to care (any)
notes: "I've had several slugcats somehow make their way into my can, but
none could be more terrified and pathetic than this one. Biometric scans 
did not indicate brain damage or any genetic disorders which may have 
reasonably led to this fault in development, which came to my surprise. In 
a moment of sheer boredom I attached a transceiver to the creature and set 
them off to log their... misfortunes. I still do not understand why or how, 
but the transceiver also seems to send its messages to a 'website' with 
address https://wasteof.money in some sort of parallel universe. This 
phenomenon still baffles me, all attempts to understand it have resulted in 
convoluted paradoxes, but the denizens of the website seem to find it 
amusing, so I have not made any attempts to suppress these messages. the 
creature also seems to be able to receive and even send messages to and 
from this 'website', sometimes even leading to vivid hallucinations due to 
being connected to its nervous tissue (EX: the 'Nihilev' incident). If you 
are indeed viewing this from this wasteof.money website, I am curious to 
know what you think of this strange occurrence."

the ocean has too many leeches ick

*does a sick backflip for no reason*

STOP BITING ME IT HURTS

WHO IS THROWING THESE ROCKS AT ME- OW WHY ARE SCAVS LIKE THIS

HUGHHHH MY EVERYTHING FEELS BAD THIS IS WORSE THAN THE TIME I ATE GLUE

i should eat 5 mushrooms and post what happens

grapple worms are my only true friends in this cruel world

I AM CRYING I HATE COALESCAPEDES THEY ARE TOO SCARY TOO MANY LEGS WHY THEY ARE SO FAST

TOO MANY CENTIPEDES TOO MANY CENTIPEDES

do NOT eat the mushrooms right before hibernating I had some WEIRD dreams

I love grapple worms they’re so skrunkly

[TRANSMISSION OVERRIDE: FIVE PEBBLES]

I want to know, which one of you brain rotted things sent me cat ears. I don’t even know how in the world you even managed to get these here, much less why.

how did I end up in this place called “Pipe yard“ I didn’t even know it existed

if FP could give me this …”internet” thing why couldn’t he have given me a map

wawa