owl's avatar

@owl
Beta tester

i do graphic design or something
Wall
‹‹ 64636261
4321 ››

My fellow Wasteofers, this is blatant libel from the Kiwi-Late administration. The new presidency is clearly paying whoever investigates situations on this platform to falsify information so that they can spoil the good names of myself and many others.

I would never commit such a violent crime or try to cover up the said crime or attempt to protect the perpetrator of the aforementioned violent crime. Also, I have never expressed a want to violently overthrow the government. All of my overthrowing thus far has been completely peaceful!

By The Wasted Onion: EXCLUSIVE: The Wasted Onion Has Acquired Documents Part Of The TallPeter Files

THE INTERNET—Ever since the beginning of the Kiwi-Late Administration, the TallPeter files have been at the top of the public political discussion across wasteof, with citizens demanding their release since President Kiwi pledged to do so at the beginning of his term. Today The Wasted Onion can reveal it has obtained CIA documents that are part of the TallPeter files. The files, known by many as the TallPeter files, are a large trove of documents pertaining to the assassination of 2025 wasteof presidential candidate and tall as hell dude TallPeter, who was shot near one of The Wasted Onion’s over 1.5 trillion headquarters. According to information provided by @Leaks, the files are a collection of documents created by the previous Auriali-Perrin Administration and the current wasteof government that catalogue the initial investigation all the way up to the current administration's efforts to track down the suspect who fled the scene. The documents are believed to be reports, memorandums, evidence lists, dossiers, email correspondences and fun trivia cards about the history of the taco. The partially redacted documents acquired by The Wasted Onion from an anonymous source wearing a Guy Fawkes mask are six pages from a top secret CIA Special Inquiry which was written by the CIA as a summary for the president of the current situation regarding the agencies investigation into finding the suspect who killed TallPeter, with autopsy details, photo evidence as well as hypotheses about potential suspects, with wasteof users such as @Thrat, @Owl, @Mef, @Burrito and more being named as suspects. The pages also contain a photograph shared by the president online of a handwritten shopping list, proving their legitimacy and how goddamn good we are at our jobs. Due to the sensitivity of these documents, The Wasted Onion Editorial Board has decided to release them recklessly, saying in a statement that “you only live once!” The Wasted Onion has reached out to the Crack House for comment on why the fuck they put us as a suspect, but have yet to hear back.

Please go to the comments of this post to find all 6 pages of the documents in full.

onion.png
8 3 3
4 0 0

IDK how much space Cloudflare’s free tier D1 storage gives you, so I’m limiting the character count for posts on Glaze to 300 characters for now

3 0 3

Oh, I've hit 100 followers, nice. Thanks, y'all!

13 0 8

sex septum

6 0 0

I love doing nothing in six out of my seven classes because AWS is down :D

16 3 5

Oh, my Wasteof account turned three years old today!

11 0 7

I have made a working account creation API and log in API 🎉. I just had to learn a little SQL to do it. It was actually surprisingly easier than I thought, albeit still difficult.

I also made sure to add a minimum and maximum username character count on the server side. Crazy concept, I know

Guys I'm gonna make my own social media called Glaze and it's going to be strictly about glazed donuts

Also, instead of loves, it going to be lobsters

Guys I'm gonna make my own social media called Glaze and it's going to be strictly about glazed donuts

10 0 6

Guys I'm gonna make my own social media called Glaze and it's going to be strictly about glazed donuts

Blaze has horrible security and kinda fails as a social media. That does not mean ANYONE should be exploiting vulnerabilities to take it down.

@blaze @kyletech, please just learn how to actually program instead of using AI for all of it. Also, your publicity stunt was scummy as fuck.

12 1 9

My transgender ftm friend said something yesterday that I actually quite agree with: “I wouldn't wish being trans on my worst enemy. Unless my worst enemy is actively working against [transgender people].”

6 0 0

Hello again, my fellow Wasteofers. In regards to my previous post, I mention that the current vice president is “nowhere to be seen”. This is a critical mistake on my part, and one that I will take the moment to sincerely apologize for. Vice President Late is currently dealing with grief and a country.

However, this will not deter my plan to start writing a plan to start an insurrection a peaceful takeover of the government. Make Wasteof Wasteof Again!

Hello, my fellow Wasteofers! Since the president is trapped in this non-existent place called “Australia” and the vice president is no where to be seen: I, as your head of commerce, will enact phase one of my plan to take over this platform.

What is phase one?

It is the phase where I create the rest of this plan. But do not worry! I have concepts of a plan to restore order to this war-torn platform.

11 3 0

I ended the first quarter with all As and Bs 🥳

This year I'm gonna make an effort to not almost fail because of laziness

Are you today's date? Because you're a 10/10

21 1 0
‹‹ 64636261
4321 ››