it’s tennis btw. this was not on my bingo card why am i actually good at playing tennis
rewrote a segment of a fic i’ve been writing for like a year oops…. u gotta guess which one is the older one and which one is the newer one !! i dont' think you can send multiple images so i’m sending them in the replies
this one probably?? both are really very good i dont know cries, im bad at this i can barely identify the age of my own writing 
but this particularly i would say is great, very err well described, very like i forgot the word thick emotions???? i DONT know what i mean but its good 
YES this is the new one. it’s okay i don’t know what i mean either it doesn’t help i’m writing fic of an episode that makes ZERO SENSE. star trek the original series season 3 episode 6 “spectre of the gun” if you’re ever interested. free on pluto tv
no but u dont even need an account to watch it on pluto. i dont have an account on pluto
omg i wish i could write fics theres so much i would write about im always just paranoid that my grandmother and brother are #watchingmefrom . different afterworlds. anyway so and that theyll judge me for it and lowkey also God Jesus Mary Joseph and my polish great grandparents but not my grandparents because all but two were silly goofy in a most monsterous way so i dc what they think about me
also lokwy i dont have anything like. writable. i dont watch any writable media or . read any. or. anything. uhmmm i just watch movies and uhhh play games #fouryearold ,, i draw fanart but even that i feel like like. my ancestors are going to call me cringe for. this is as im writing this out im realizing this is a very strange and unique problem . but anyway i love fallout soooo much i mm im making a fan game on microsoft about fallout which i guess is kind of a fanfic anyway its set in fallout . probs 3 cause i like the visuals of three and uhm . its close to me. but the story is uhm about ghoulification cause i feel like there are so few stories in fallout ab it 
and its such an interesting concept and i suppose one i could play around with to relate to, i mean, imagine having someone close to you become a ghoul before your very eyes. its a slow process, so one day they wont have all their function in their eyes or more fatigue or something small like that, then teeth will fall out and changes in behavior, and youll worry for your safety, youll worry for your life, you’ll worry that you’ll lose whomever is having this happen to them. what if they become violent? what if theyre violent to others, but not you? what if you feel guilty for this exclusion? what if they forget who you are one day? i imagine its an idea played with sometime in fallout, some fallout some where, but i guess i havent played that much, or that part. i guess the closest thing in my knowle
ledge is uhm theres this one guy whos already a ghoul but becomes worse and also a like tree takes over his body, it all happens over the span of like 1 2 and 3 , and over the whole u..s.a., but i guess i mean that same thing more personal. and also from the start, from having an absolutely normal person to a feral, you know? i think there are instances in the series of games where people become ghoulified post war, i know theres hancock but thats cause of drugs and theres , in the show, whatshisface but i forgot why he became one. i dont know, i think its a possibility. esp as someone would become older, you dont know how radiation would affect them differently, you dont know if they would become weaker and have less resistance to it as older people are with most things, or , really what at all. its an interesting concept.
OKAY rant time. idk how to put this down coherently actually but. yeah so. school. i'm the new kid i'm kind of scared of everyone and everything. but there's this boy named carter a grade above me, who i sit next to in band class, and he’s willing to like. talk to me when i have no friends and help show me the ropes of like. how to function in our school band and jazz band. and he also sits at the same table as me at lunch because he’s dating one of the other freshman girls, so we’ve got 9 freshman girls plus carter crammed around one round table at lunch and yet still nobody’s talking to me. except carter, he always found a way to involve me in the conversation and put more effort into that than the other girls did. and we both really like sports and we become like. good friends. and then people start rumors that we like each other (we don’t) (he has a girlfriend) or at least that i like him. actually the only person who said carter liked me was tanner and he’s a fricking weirdo and i hate him and i’m glad he switched schools. sorry i’m off topic. but yeah multiple people said i liked carter which i didn’t so that made me like. kinda scared to talk to him more because. he has a girlfriend. i don’t want to be a weirdo. everyone thinks i like him GOD FORBID I MAKE FRIENDS WITH A BOY. uhm yeah so anyway we hang out a lot on the band trip to branson and stuff he deceives me into going on a really big rollercoaster for my first ever rollercoaster </3 but it was fun. anyway [+]
[-] actually this might have been before the band trip but he misses a day of school (he never does) (even when he’s sick) (he gave me a nasty cold once because he wouldn’t just stay home) and i find out it’s because he’s shadowing at the other big christian school in town. not from him but from some of his friends. the next day i try to ask him why he was gone and where he was and he just says “i was not here” like no shit sherlock? avoiding the subject final boss. but anyway it’s eventually confirmed (not through him obvi) that he’s going to the other big christian school in town next year. and eventually during band one of the other sax players asks him where he’s going next year and he FINALLY admits it and i ask him why and he says “it’s a long story and i’m not really allowed to talk about it” ?????????? his parents both worked at my school and all his younger brothers went here as well. they’re all leaving apparently. and i don’t have his number or anything because yknow i don’t want to seem like a weirdo so i can’t like talk to him ever again !! wow !! fun times !! anyway holy yap my bad bro
omg WHAT. omg im so sorry i dont even know how to respond, i cant imagine like being in a situation like that wth, i hope he uhmm is able to tell you why soon?? what on earth thats so cruel im sorry :-( and im sorry the kids in ur grade are such uhh i forgot the world like rumormills, i hope the set of kids next year is better or if they are the same maybe that they get a freaking BRAIN.. NO worries about yapping dw it wasnt even that long of one and it was DEF for a good reason holy crap. i hope somehow you’re able to talk?? :( maybe email, that seems less like personal than phone but you can still keep in chat? im not sure im sorry i really wish i was more help
i’ll love you til the end of timeee,,!!! don’t you worry babe, i’ll never say goodbye, i’ll never make you cryy, :) :))
slightly a joke but anyway i had a perception that most christian schools didnt have it cause that was the parents job. because. thats what my parents told me. and that only evil public schools offered it . but i think my health class anyway isnt traditional its just about like uhm cpr and stuff but if not i might ask to be excused from it for religious reasons just because i lwk dont wanna do it, but i really do want my diploma cries idk
i have sworn once in my life. since i was seven anyway. and that was a month ago i said damn because i could not figure out where my saves were being kept on my xbox. is this VALID?
so. he just texted me. "Ok i heard that you either did or do have a crush on me so I just want to make sure that you know I'm not interested I just wanna let you know I'm not trying to be rude or anything". whatever. whatever whateever its fineeee i'm fine its fineeeeeeeee
omgg umm well at least he was kind and that got cleared up so u didnt stress for longer
yeah ! and like my mom always says that like God is preparing u and like ur future bf/gf to both be better people and like ready for dating so like everything will happen how and when it is supposed to 
now pandora has added luxury car ads (mazda and mercedes-benz) to the grainger ads. i’m so confused
pandora is also a music streaming app and grainger is warehouse maintenance supplies
yesterday i was sitting in the front row of the student section, which is right behind the bench, at our school’s last basketball game, and i’m so serious when the team was huddled up at halftime and then again between the 3rd and 4th quarters i kept accidentally making eye contact with #him. (it’s fine that he wasn’t locked in he never gets to play anyway unless we’re losing by like 30 which we weren’t that day, shockingly) like whenever i would look at him he was looking back. and then we both looked away. it was awkward af. idk if this means it’s so over or we’re so back
so it turns out if u yap enough about a certain boy and then always complain that the annoying boys in your grade get a crush on you and not the nice ones and then at one point call him good-looking while incredibly sleep-deprived while looking at pictures from the winter formal with your mother at like midnight, she will in fact clock you like him
iyts okay if she knows then maybe if like. by some miracle he ever likes me back it won’t come out of nowhere. we haven’t talked to dad about it though so he’s who i should be worried about
how to talk to the dorky blond class president u lowkey really really really like and maybe get him to like you back and also have your parents not completely crash out over it no glue no borax
clarifications
1 i am not actually asking for advice i’m just crashing out on my bestie’s wall. as the greats do. i will figure it out i swear please do not feel pressured to help me
2 i call him dorky as a compliment he’s so. he’s so. he’s so weird and stupid and it’s so cute and i love him so much for it he’s sooo. do u get what i’m saying
3 u know ab Sharon and Jeff u know they would crash out over the idea of me “dating” (even if all dating really means is hanging out at school and like. maybe texting sometimes)
clarification on clarification 3
i might get a phone soon mayhaps bc i’m going on a 5-day trip 7 hours away with the band. however my mom says it would be “the family phone” (whatever makes her feel better ig) so i hope she’s okay with the family phone having a denver nuggets wallpaper and getting constantly blown up by the ochs class of 29 gc
omgg yayyy also did i ever tell you that my dads phone offcially became mine,, like i even call it my phone now (i legit always forget tho because i was so used to calling it his lolll and it still has the same uhhh case lolll,, i still think of my mom by her real name and ask siri to call her and not just mama 
)
lmao good i trust in you to figure it out girl i could NOT help loll
- this conversation is making me feel like a teenager. yes i can comprehend in some way what you are saying i understand you mean that as a compliment to him lol
i can understand why they would crash out lwk i hear so many horror stories of stuff teenagers have done at my age it freaks me out
but also lwk it irks me when my parents act like i dont know that and dk how to be safe so i can understand ur perspective too, if i was in their spot i would just try to get to know my kids friends and people better and make sure they always felt safe to talk to me 
idk what else to write i lwk have written this all like a freaking robot </3
no no i get what ur saying but like. lincoln’s very responsible. so am i. we’re not gonna be idiots
yah ik i just know some parents might not trust nor realize that idk what i meant b4 lol 
“i didnt want to dwell on this” then idk maybe dont be friends w someone for nearly two years and then leave no warning ,, the freak???