@perrin

this is a cry for help, i am too distracted screaming into the void to do homework

wasteof.money more like wasteof.mytime heyo

@jeffalo what is this site’s policy on swearing

two days later, my obituary appears in the local newspaper

“I sure hope nobody has poisoned this yogurt,” I reassuringly proclaim to the rest of the dairy aisle as I place the tub into my cart

burrito and sean can relate amirite

god my back hurts from carrying the weight of scratch’s comedic efforts

the I in iguana stands for iguana

@da-ta is a cutie pie

they call me peein

man this is great i get to scream nonsense into the void for clout

i put the carp in carpe diem

not to get political but what the frick is eggnog

i put the scam in shrimp scampi

this is just twitter but without any of the twitter parts