GOVERNMENT. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE GOVERNMENT SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD GOVERNMENT WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE GOVERNMENT I HATE FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. GOVERNMENT.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. IT'S TIME TO DETHRONE @owl 's COUP. I'M GOING TO ULTRAKILL GOVERNMENT AND LET ANARCHY RULE.
It's a shame I won't win, but thanks for spreading awareness. Even parody news can cover me better than wasteof news. 
Daily Election Update: As the campaign goes on, candidates have begun using memes to convince citizens to vote for them, causing critical mass cringe events.
Updates from the campaign trail:
Posting to wasteof, Oren thanked the North Korean city Pyongyang for “supporting the best candidate! Long live Kim Jong Un!”
Kiwi was also actively posting on wasteof, saying “i don’t condone voting with alts, but i do condone voting for #kiwilate2025 with alts no one knows about!”
The-Owlsss announced various anti-KyleTech measures, such as buggy Wix features, to prevent similar incident’s like yesterday, where Mr. Tech rushed Owlsss’s stage at a rally.
TallPeter apologised today for misleading the public regarding how tall he was, we’ve yet to hear an apology from him after trying to do our job for us by posting a satire news graphic.
Elsie danced to Saturn by SZA for an entire 1 hour interview with lesser news outlet BBC, leaving the journalist sobbing in the corner of the room.
V1 has once again been mentioned in The Only News Source, proving their campaign isn’t being censored, you’re welcome again.
Pufferfish101007 has lost significant backing after saying they like light mode.
SixFourLu has dropped out of the race after missing a Spanish lesson with their running mate Duolingo, causing SixFourLu to vanish without a trace.
In a turn of good fortune, WannaBeRose didn’t insult us today. The snipers have been told to hold their fire.
The media is trying to keep my campaign a secret smh
Vote for V1, blood in every pot and a quarter in every wallet
Wasteof News
Saturday, June 28, 2025
Top News:
ELECTION
Las Vegas, USA
On Monday, June 30th, voting begins! Currently, the candidates are @/oren, @/kiwi, @/kyletech, @/sixfourlu, @/pufferfish101007, @/wynd, @/v1, and @/the-owlsss. many candidates have promised improvements during their reign presidency including lower waffle taxes, free waffles, bigger cheese caves, and more. As is usual, the competitive candidates have already started campaigning for themselves and against each other.
this election will have a few different rules concerning voting, as there will be no changing votes after you’ve cast your first vote. several presidential candidates, including @/kiwi and @/oren, have already chosen the majority of their cabinets and officials.
if you’re running and I forgot to mention you, just comment below!
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Thanks for reading! More updates on the election soon. - =^..^=
I would like to announce I am running for president. If I win everyone will get as many quarters as they desire.
1 lie, you do not need a new interest
3 TRUTHS, NO LIES:
hyperdeath is what happens when something is ultrakilled
v1 is an overengineered yeet machine
i need a new special interest
Behold! The power of the spare change in my back pocket
You clearly haven't seen how hot Gabriel is.
Honestly, and forgive my very, very uninformed opinion, Ultrakill just looks like a more expensive Quake II.
V2? But I thought there wasn't even anything to reconstruct!!
Hell's looking a little different. . . It's like everywhere I've been has been. . . Revamped somehow. . . Also I found secret areas in 0-1 and 1-1 nothing could go wrong here!
Yup that had a whole town but light work. "Prime soul" just put the fries in the bag bro
Idk who that "minos" guy was but what a pushover! Anyways now that I've killed him twice im going to the next super duper secret area, but how hard could it really be?