“Met Chief: ‘AI Facial Recognition Not Used At Far-Right Protest Because It Only Recognises Minorities’”
“President Kiwi Signs First And Only Executive Order Mandating All Toilet Paper Must Use Over Orientation”
Well done Mr. President, for you have embarrassed yourself, as you already signed an executive order, which makes this new one neither your first nor only one: https://wasteof.money/posts/688bd69411851e5457ec1872
“Special Report: Wasteof Did Not Go Down For Five Minutes On September 18th, 2025, You’re All Delusional”
THE TALL PETER FILES DON'T EXIST
THRAT ISN'T ON THERE
IM NOT ON THERE FOR ATTEMPTING TO ERASE THEM
BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST
Thank you for your attention to this matter
“Former NASA Astronaut Buzz Aldrin Confirms the Moon Landing was Faked in a Shocking Statement: ‘The smart people at NASA… they did some tests and discovered that the moon has no collision’, the pilot for the Apollo 11 mission announced on Darflen earlier today. ‘…[T]hey called up Earthdevs and arranged for us to be warped to a random flat plane somewhere when we couldn’t be seen in the sky.’ NASA spokesperson Bethany Stevens immediately tried to discredit Aldrin’s statement in an official statement posted to Blaze. ‘This is NOT true. [Buzz is] 95 years old and he probably has dementia, how could you believe him?!’, the post read. However, this attempt at debunking the unexpected confession did not succeed in swaying the public eye, mostly due to the fact that not a single fucking person uses Blaze.”
Happy to announce we are lobbying the UK government to ban criminals from breathing air.
“Restaurant employees reported missing after making a ‘slightly disappointing’ $5,000 hot dog for Mr Beast” (bonus points if you mention his orbital death laser)