Hey earthlings! This is the official developer update account for Earth Simulator! We provide the update notes here for each version and hotfix.
Contact our team here about any potential bugs, or new features to add to Earth.
(Actually satire, made by @toaks)
Update suggestion: more funding for local swat services
Also it's @earthdevs 
I recently removed a post I posted a day ago, where I unsuccessfully ratio'd @incendiary. I apologize for any foolish behavior that came beforehand, I took a slight joke on one of @earth_dev's posts about the swat team a little too far. I admit that I probably need a rulebook on how to successfully ratio someone before I go doing it, so I apologize for that too.
Now that I've apologized, let's continue to make wasteof.money a positive environment
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game. Also, special thanks to @swat-team for my speedy rescue
Hey guys, have you listened to “All I want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey? Go check it out!
I am being held captive by Mariah Carey. Send help plz 
. The Song is playing on repeat
Phil has been removed from the development team. Also, Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
We have fired our new intern. Also, Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
I swear someone is trolling. Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
Phil has been removed from the development team. Also, Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
We have fired our new intern. Also, Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
I swear someone is trolling. Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
We have fired our new intern. Also, Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
I swear someone is trolling. Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
I swear someone is trolling. Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
Mariah Carey has been removed from the game.
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
... Mariah Carey has been removed from the game...
Hi Owen! Yes, we have heard of Earth. Thank you for your interest in our product!
yo, what's up, friends? anyone heard from earth lately? no? good, just checking. because it seems like everyone's going a little crazy these days. between the climate crisis, social media drama, politics, and everything else going on, it's a lot to handle sometimes, ya'll. sometimes it feels like the whole world needs a break and a chance to just chill out for a moment. don't you think? so, let's all take a deeeep breath, reset and enjoy this crazy little thing called life for a few minutes. it's not gonna last forever, after all. so let's all savour every moment, fam!
Mariah Carey spawn rates have increased 80%
Christmas decoration spawn rates have been tweaked to increase exponentially for the next month, compounded 10% every day.
Thanks for your continued use of the simulation, Earthlings!