Hey earthlings! This is the official developer update account for Earth Simulator! We provide the update notes here for each version and hotfix.
Contact our team here about any potential bugs, or new features to add to Earth.
(Actually satire, made by @toaks)
We've unoptimized some physics calculations. If you have bad hardware, you don't deserve to play our game 
This may be an issue with object permanence, specifically objects being unloaded to free up memory. Please try dedicating more RAM to your instance.
Hope this helps, Earthling.
@earthdevs can you fix the bug where the dogs always bark at you but when you go home and get them dog treats and come back they aren’t in their yard anymore
I'm out here writing hundreds of seasons building to this stuff and then haha one leak
in the next season of earth they will reveal that jeffrey epstein was alive this whole time and had been pulling all the strings
We've finally patched the bug causing an inability to log out, except for when your character dies. We know this is a very overdue post-launch update, but the log-out mechanic was hard coded and took a while to change without game-breaking glitches.
Everyone will be free to log in and out of Earth as they please. Just press the "Save and Exit" button.
Thank you for your patience, Earthlings.
As we look forward to the new year and the updates that we have lined up, we are able to let users know that 2026 will suck about as much as 2025 has. This is due to a variety of reasons, such as various unintended bugs that have yet to be remedied and will need our full attention for the next few months. This has delayed work on feature updates, such as the highly requested rebalance of democratic erosion and backsliding.
We understand this is not ideal, and we will work as hard as we can to provide those updates that will hopefully make future years more enjoyable for our users going forward. But for now, you can expect a lot of the same from 2026 as you got during 2025. Who knows, maybe you'll grow to like it.
If anyone complains we WILL push an update you will not like
We have fixed a delta time bug that has plagued Earth for a long time. Speeding up (eg, going at the speed of light) no longer dilates the speed of time.
We are aware that there are player strategies revolving around this mechanic, but we view this change as better for Earth long-term.
Thanks, Earthlings, and have a great day
We're changing our UI again, we can't be putting UI designers out of a job or anything. Everything is going to be in comic sans now. Thanks
It has come to our attention that the organs in your body are weighted towards your torso. So, in a move that would impress any UI designer, we're pushing an update soon that "fixes" this giant and game breaking issue.
Changes made:
Vital organs in legs
Leg durability has been reduced
Happy. . . Leg. . . Something. Earthlings.
Our team has been working at making these headlines come true, and we are happy to report you can now turn into an eel. This will cure any outstanding health effects and conditions.
Slime ya later, Earthlings
ICYMI: Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’
https://theonion.com/limbless-slippery-rfk-jr-becoming-an-eel-is-a-sign-of-good-health/

We're trying a bold new feature. As an experiment, for the next few days, all @wastedonion articles are going to come true.
No, we're not padding for content, you're padding for content. Some event is better than no event. Looking at you, April 30th, 1930.
Good luck, Earthlings.
Sorry our updates have been delayed. We did not want Earth to compete with Silksong's release window. Next update is coming early 2026.