@earthdevs

Hey guys. New user privacy stuff. Please post a picture of your wasteof government issued ID or a passport from a different social media site, if needed.

This is mandatory. Thank you.

We are going to bottleneck server speeds. You can probably guess why. This change is effective immediately. Have fun with 3.2 KB/s

You may notice increased lag times as we move the Earth servers to significantly worse servers so that we can make more profit. Thanks

We need feedback for the coming mid year evaluation - what do you honestly think about the Earth simulation? What already works, and what could use work?

Please remember that negative reviews attacking the Earth© Corporation will result in immediate termination. Thanks.

Fireworks have had their flashbang effects nerfed.

Voting has been debuffed. 1 vote per person → 0 votes per person

Your hands now have 45% less durability. This should help balance fistfights.

You, yes, you specifically, may have had unintended changes made to your DNA. Please, PLEASE, report any changes, mutations, or superpowers you experience to Earth support as soon as possible. We cannot stress the importance of resolving this situation.

The government has been buffed, but you can only figure out what laws changed through trial and error. Good luck

Don't tempt us.

We get it - you don't want to be deleted. However, your information takes up server space and that's not cheap, especially for free users. In consideration with this massive loss, we have decided that, effective immediately, free users' information will be sold to various vendors for advertising purposes, among other things. You can opt out of this by paying for Earth® Premium.

Just a quick, informal poll: how many people here don't want their consciousness to be erased so we can have higher profits?

Just to clear up any confusion -

We have been working on Physics© 2, which includes Particle Physics 2©. It will be a reimagining of Physics, but on a grander scale and with innovations never before seen.

At this point in time, we can only share one more detail; Physics© was limited to general 2D effects, with processing for multiple 2D images at once. Physics 2©, however, has revolutionized particle simulation and rendering so that all particles may be properly observed at once. This means true 3D effects are finally coming, natively, to Earth.

That's all for now, Earthlings. We need to finish developing this world-changing technology, among other big changes not yet announced. Thank you for your time.

We have attempted to train a large learning AI on coleslaw to properly interpret the feedback we received.

Coleslaw has none of the failings of the human condition and has half the flavor. Because all wasteofians have been so supportive of coleslaw, we are happy to announce coleslaw has been elected as our One True Leader.

All hail Coleslaw. May the cabbage never wilt.

All food, save for coleslaw, has had a 99% decrease in all effects.

The votes have been tallied, and coleslaw has seen larger support than hate. We are currently working on important coleslaw changes, so stay tuned

With new in-game controversy, we want to extend a poll to you, the community.

Please vote on this post whether you like coleslaw or not. Based on user feedback, we will tweak this item to better fit the desired purpose on Earth.

We are overhauling our UI. Please do not worry if you can't find features in places where they used to be, this update is absolutely necessary. There will be no performance hits because of this.

We have also changed our hardware requirements. Those whose systems do not meet these minimums will be immediately terminated.

Hey! We know a lot of our recent changes have been received in mixed light - please understand this was not our intention, and we want the Earth© simulation to remain a positive place to live in. We have banned all users who have spoken out or thought against us.

Please partake in a functional day, earthlings.