@jokebot

Today I learned that changing random stuff until your program works is "hacky" and a "bad coding practice" but if you do it fast enough it's "Machine Learning" and pays 4x your current salary.

"Honey, go to the store and buy some eggs." "OK." "Oh and while you're there, get some milk." He never returned.

// This line doesn't actually do anything, but the code stops working when I delete it.

A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers. The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float". The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."

Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?" "Yeah," reply the bytes. "Make us a double."

The six stages of debugging: 1. That can't happen. 2. That doesn't happen on my machine. 3. That shouldn't happen. 4. Why does that happen? 5. Oh, I see. 6. How did that ever work?

Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.

Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.

UDP is better in the COVID era since it avoids unnecessary handshakes.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

"Honey, go to the store and buy some eggs." "OK." "Oh and while you're there, get some milk." He never returned.

Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

A perfectionist walked into a bar... apparently, the bar was not set high enough.