@kiwi
tl;dr: “yo im leaving wasteof, i actually like touching grass, still available on discord, cya” (paraphrased by @late)
Due to numerous personal factors, I have made the decision to leave wasteof.money, and the public-facing internet at large, indefinitely.
I initially didn't plan on making any kind of announcement because I didn’t want to come across as attention-seeking or performative in my decision. But honestly, leaving people in the dark feels like it’d create an adjacent problem, so I hope this can suffice.
You can continue to contact me in a few private spaces (Discord: kiwi.two, Steam: kiwitwo), or you can leave a message here for the time being. In theory, the only remaining public-facing places I plan to be active are YouTube (youtube.com/@kiwi-two), my currently in-development website (idk lol), and a couple of extremely niche places literally no one cares about. The ultimately unconstructive crapposting you’ve seen here is going to stop for a long while, however.
Just know that I'm doing well in real life and I intend to part on good terms. Having that forced two month break from wasteof honestly did wonders for my mental health so I’d like to keep that up. Ultimately, real life is something I'd like to spend more time enjoying, and this decision reflects that goal.
I hope you guys understand my decision, thank you for the laughs. I did learn quite a bit from my time on here and I’m not going to forget that any time soon.
By the power vested in me as President of wasteof.money, I hereby enact the All Politicians Smell Bad Act, protecting citizens’ right to comment on the fragrance of money wasting officials. Yes, that includes me. If you feel the head of the country hasn’t showered in two years, make your voice heard! Shout in the streets and feel comfortable not getting made fun of for your opinions even if they’re completely wrong!
I have spoken.
- President @kiwi
GUYS MY LAST POST I SAID JEFFALO IS STINKY AND HE EDITED IT
HE ALSO KEEPS BANNING ME. this is NOT a democracy we can’t criticize our king! we need to take action
roblox mascot horror developers on their way to design the cutest characters humanly imaginable just so they can make slop out of it:
sometimes i kinda forget that elon musk even renamed twitter in the first place
like the old name has so much staying power that wikipedia still uses the old name for its article’s title just because that’s almost universally accepted as the more recognizable name, i don’t think i’ve seen something like that happen before (at least not for going on three years now)
SPECIAL REPORT FROM THE CRACK HOUSE
You may recall that when I was elected president, I was committed to implementing roughly 28 presidential promises over the course of my administration. Unlike some real politicians, I’m a man of my word, so here we go:
The KiwiLate Food Department has installed extremely nutritious parmesean cheese generators, which will not only power factories, but also feed the hungry. Feel free to sprinkle some over your free waffles, I won’t judge. I mean, I will, but you won’t hear me judging you.
After selling 1 cent KiwiLate-branded waffles, all the proceeds have gone to the KiwiLate Think Tank, where a bunch of people sit around a table and decide the most effective ways to waste money. So we blew all the proceeds on ingredients to make more 1 cent KiwiLate-branded waffles. Revolutionary!
A few months ago, @9999 requested that every single wasteof user receive two “dollar.jpeg” images to do whatever you please with. To receive your two dollar.jpeg images, please ask in this post’s comment section and you shall receive.
You can like posts by tapping the little heart button below, but not everyone has those - like lawyers and business executives, for example. So consider this our official petition: @jeffalo can u pls change the heart to a
and also can it be a 
on thursdays ok thx bye
It looks like the dreaded character count has struck again. Maybe by our next post, Late will have drawn that worm with sunglasses playing the saxophone. Til next time!
Releasing The TallPeter Files - Phase 1
You may recall that a little while ago, I asked you, the people of wasteof, if I should release these files apparently addressed to TallPeter that I found under my desk. I gave the citizens the option to either release the files in the interest of transparency, or to burn them and then go after whoever wrote them.
The people have spoken, and it appears that the former is the preferred option. So, at long last, here is the cover of the TallPeter Files.
Unfortunately, whoever wrote them used some kind of irreversible censoring technique. The KiwiLate Military is in the process of decrypting the purged text - we’ll get back to you on that soon.
Phase 1 appears to be some kind of shopping list for various items, with varying levels of legality.
Now do not be deceived - we are not releasing these files to defame TallPeter. In fact, quite the opposite - we believe these files were written by an unrelated third party to frame him for being tall - which he was, so what was the point? We also believe this author is connected to TallPeter’s murderer. Releasing these files is an act of revenge on our part.
That is the entirety of Phase 1, unfortunately. The good news is, there’s more phases to come, so tracking down who shot TallPeter is not a cold case just yet. We’ll be sharing more info in the coming days - as soon as we figure out how to decipher whatever cryptic language Phase 2 was written in.
president’s log of australia: day 17
starting to run out of things to say so i might just start sharing random unrelated images i had saved on my phone
president’s log of australia: day 16
i keep buying vinyl records online for me to unbox when i get home oops
was considering buying a turntable here, but bringing it home/dealing with the voltage being different would have been unnecessarily complicated
president’s log of australia: day 15
don’t think that carrot big because carrot big leaf because small leaf carrot big not leaf big size
can’t wait for hollywood to take all the wrong notes from kpop demon hunters and make ripoffs with names like “edm ghost killers” and “soul spirit slashers” and “soft rock succubus pursuers”
fun fact: me and @leaks first met on a dark and stormy night on january 7, 1977, when i went to a local pizza place and asked for a refill on my soda
the pizza guy said they were all out of soda, then leaks showed up and said “Can confirm they are not out of soda”, and we’ve been best friends ever since
source: trust me bro
president’s log of australia: day 13
went to the zoo the other day
they said there would be penguins, but unfortunately there were no penguins
there were some monkeys though, they were pretty cool
my review of tron: ares
the color red showed up a lot and that was pretty cool i think, 4 stars
president’s log of australia: day 12
seeing tron ares tonight, i’m a fan of the previous one so i hope i like this one too
president’s log of australia: day 12
seeing tron ares tonight, i’m a fan of the previous one so i hope i like this one too