sorry for the abruptness, but i gotta disappear from the internet for a few weeks to take care of some irl obligations that were scheduled before this election even happened. here’s what that means election-wise:
in the event that me/late are crowned the winners of the election following vote verification, @late has agreed to temporarily assume the presidency and share our victory speech on my behalf until i’m back, then we can do a real inauguration later or something idk how you guys want to handle this
and in the event that we lose, @late will share our concession speech and we’ll all… uh… move on with our lives i guess
either way, try not to burn the place down while i’m gone!
tldr: it ain’t that deep
When you think about it, the very act of buying the domain name “wasteof.money” was a waste of money that could have been spent on things besides expensive domain names. Ultimately, the website became something beautiful. The same goes for us if elected.
Yes, on the surface all our promises sound a little absurd, or maybe even downright impossible, but not everything is black and white. By the end of the year, we’ll have accomplished 26 promises, with far more to be revealed over the course of our presidency, and yes, maybe some of those promises don’t seem like they’ll benefit users now, but what they will lose in time and money they will make up for in the public’s entertainment value.
After all, was that not the whole reason this election first happened one year ago in the first place? For entertainment? As a satire on real-world developments? Nothing more than a joke? Was that not the very reason wasteof.money was registered as a domain name in the first place? As a joke? Why must everyone involved take this so seriously when, at the end of the day, we’re just doing this for fun?
Vote for the candidate that will use the satirical nature of this election to their full potential. We’re committed to the bit.
The choice is clearestererer.
I have spoken.
#KiwiLate2025
You can do that. Or you can waste better. After confirming, the website was NOT created to devise ways to waste money, it was just a funny website name. So if you want to waste time and money towards empty campaign promises that will give you nothing, go ahead. Go and try to make skittles legal tender. Go ahead and wait for your waffle. It’s not going to happen. If you want to waste time and money on things you will see, like a new app, merch, and a committee, then vote for Oren. Don’t just waste different. Waste better.
I have spoken.
#votefororen
Yes, but that’s logical thinking. Again, we’re trying to waste money here, and our plan to allow users to access wasteof.money through a Lightning to HDMI adapter is going to be as convoluted, expensive, unrealistic, and unnecessary as possible. It won’t just be a wasteof money, it’ll be a wasteof time too.
Also, you’re right - I don’t want to barter different. Therefore, vote for @kiwi and @late, and we’ll make Skittles legal tender. But we’ll also make the process of converting Skittles into money as ridiculously complicated and unnecessary as possible so that, again, it’s a waste of time and money. A net positive for this website.
The choice is clearerer.
Good news for the kiwilate Think Tank- your problems are solved. Just plug the adapter into any lighting device produced by Apple that supports it and you can access the wasteof.money site. Same goes for the Apple TV, although the ways are a lot more limited. But, if you vote for @Orenyou can access an app developed specifically for all supporting Apple devices, so you don’t need the internet browser.
#votefororen
And skittles are not supported as legal tender anywhere- so unless you’re fine with bartering different, vote @Oren. He will not only waste different, he will waste better.
(Edit: was originally a comment on @Kiwis repost)
You’re welcome, but I fear that times have changed, and the technology scene has moved past that - we’re all eagerly awaiting the release of wasteof.money for AirPort Time Capsule.
Yes, but that’s logical thinking. Again, we’re trying to waste money here, and our plan to allow users to access wasteof.money through a Lightning to HDMI adapter is going to be as convoluted, expensive, unrealistic, and unnecessary as possible. It won’t just be a wasteof money, it’ll be a wasteof time too.
Also, you’re right - I don’t want to barter different. Therefore, vote for @kiwi and @late, and we’ll make Skittles legal tender. But we’ll also make the process of converting Skittles into money as ridiculously complicated and unnecessary as possible so that, again, it’s a waste of time and money. A net positive for this website.
The choice is clearerer.
Good news for the kiwilate Think Tank- your problems are solved. Just plug the adapter into any lighting device produced by Apple that supports it and you can access the wasteof.money site. Same goes for the Apple TV, although the ways are a lot more limited. But, if you vote for @Orenyou can access an app developed specifically for all supporting Apple devices, so you don’t need the internet browser.
#votefororen
And skittles are not supported as legal tender anywhere- so unless you’re fine with bartering different, vote @Oren. He will not only waste different, he will waste better.
(Edit: was originally a comment on @Kiwis repost)
Last time I checked I had 13 cents and half a bag of Skittles, which can be funneled into the national budget. They can very much be wasted.
Also, the public doesn’t want wasteof.money for the Apple TV - because they want wasteof.money for the Apple Lightning to HDMI adapter instead. Sure, maybe it doesn’t have internet capabilities, but the KiwiLate Think Tank, which specializes in ways to waste money, shall use the 13 cents and half a bag of Skittles to devise a plan that allows the public to enjoy reading about ways to waste money whilst owning a $49 adapter.
The choice is clearer.
Last time I checked you can’t waste money if you have none. None of these ways you mentioned besides food related things are conventional ways to waste money, as it can’t be. In order to waste, it can’t be a good way. Therefore everything you said is just as good as anyone else’s ideas on how to “waste money” and the ideas on how to give people food for free isn’t wasting, it’s providing. Therefore it’s the best worst idea you have promoted.
#votefororen
Also you can’t download software on iPod shuffle, so it is conventionally impossible. As for the Apple TV app, we can develop it relatively easily. We have just seen no desire from real people to develop it. If you want it, we can make it.
Don’t just waste different. Waste better.
Last time I checked I had 13 cents and half a bag of Skittles, which can be funneled into the national budget. They can very much be wasted.
Also, the public doesn’t want wasteof.money for the Apple TV - because they want wasteof.money for the Apple Lightning to HDMI adapter instead. Sure, maybe it doesn’t have internet capabilities, but the KiwiLate Think Tank, which specializes in ways to waste money, shall use the 13 cents and half a bag of Skittles to devise a plan that allows the public to enjoy reading about ways to waste money whilst owning a $49 adapter.
The choice is clearer.
Last time I checked you can’t waste money if you have none. None of these ways you mentioned besides food related things are conventional ways to waste money, as it can’t be. In order to waste, it can’t be a good way. Therefore everything you said is just as good as anyone else’s ideas on how to “waste money” and the ideas on how to give people food for free isn’t wasting, it’s providing. Therefore it’s the best worst idea you have promoted.
#votefororen
Also you can’t download software on iPod shuffle, so it is conventionally impossible. As for the Apple TV app, we can develop it relatively easily. We have just seen no desire from real people to develop it. If you want it, we can make it.
Don’t just waste different. Waste better.
Last I checked, the main focus of this website was to devise ways to waste money. These are all practical, and actually use money responsibly. Also, some of us only have Apple TVs, how are those of us supposed to waste money?
The choice is clear.
edit: also if he’s doing all apple devices except tv, when are we getting wasteof.money for that one ipod shuffle that didn’t have any buttons
I, not as a candidate but as a wasteof user, want to take a step back for a second and consider our options for wasteof.money president. Our only real options at this point in the election is @Kiwi, and @Oren. When you look at @Kiwi’s campaign promises, they sound great. But, when you consider them from an outsider standpoint, then they make no sense. Free waffles? Building actual buildings? Bringing back Redbox? They sound ridiculous, because they are. People on this site are very silly, they buy into hype more than actual improvements to the site, and thus this is why @Kiwi has a slight lead. But, the election isn’t over. If you vote @Oren, he will bring things that wasteof.money actually needs, such as wasteof.money apps for all Apple devices except tv, a wasteof welcoming committee, as best of all merch. All of these are reasonable and will happen if Oren wins.
Don’t just waste different. Waste better.
Last I checked, the main focus of this website was to devise ways to waste money. These are all practical, and actually use money responsibly. Also, some of us only have Apple TVs, how are those of us supposed to waste money?
The choice is clear.
edit: also if he’s doing all apple devices except tv, when are we getting wasteof.money for that one ipod shuffle that didn’t have any buttons
I, not as a candidate but as a wasteof user, want to take a step back for a second and consider our options for wasteof.money president. Our only real options at this point in the election is @Kiwi, and @Oren. When you look at @Kiwi’s campaign promises, they sound great. But, when you consider them from an outsider standpoint, then they make no sense. Free waffles? Building actual buildings? Bringing back Redbox? They sound ridiculous, because they are. People on this site are very silly, they buy into hype more than actual improvements to the site, and thus this is why @Kiwi has a slight lead. But, the election isn’t over. If you vote @Oren, he will bring things that wasteof.money actually needs, such as wasteof.money apps for all Apple devices except tv, a wasteof welcoming committee, as best of all merch. All of these are reasonable and will happen if Oren wins.
Don’t just waste different. Waste better.
i wasn’t planning on sharing any more comically long images but i am committed to the bit
Daily Election Update: With the campaign trudging along, the citizens of wasteof are growing weak from all the memes, yearning for the sweet release of death.
Updates from the campaign trail:
At a morning rally today, Oren said “vote for Oren, the President that will serve you. That’s right, we’re going to serve you all lawsuits! Vote for legal obliteration!”
Kiwi posted a graphic parodying a classic Apple Macintosh advert on wasteof, replacing the text with the entire script for the 2017 film The Emoji Movie.
The-Owlsss also posted on wasteof, saying “fellas, would you like to have a president that sees a dollar amount and says ‘fuck it we ball’ no matter how many people suffer? if so, I’m the president for you!”
After threatening to ban The Wasted Onion’s journalists from the Oval Office if he’s elected, TallPeter inexplicably shrunk to the height of a below-average person.
Being eliminated from the race for not confirming a running mate, Elsie was seen dancing off into the sunset. Our journalists can rest now.
V1 did their duty by thanking The Only News Source for covering their campaign unlike lesser news outlets. In return we will continue to mention them, you’re welcome.
Pufferfish101007 pledged at a rally this afternoon that naughty people will be deported to the backrooms.
Shattering our reconciliation from yesterday, WannaBeRose mocked us again by saying we stink. We don’t! We smell like freshly picked roses! We’re not upset! You are!
Waffles as they are produced now shall remain free for all - however, the optional KiwiLate2025-approved-waffles shall be a paid item. I can assure wasteof that it will cost less than your standard Eggo waffle, come with a secret ingredient, taste better, and proceeds from ingredient sales will go towards funding our think tank that devises more ways to waste money.
Wait so waffles cost money now???
No, we’re merely providing different ways to waste money - ways that involve making waffles (requires ingredients which cost money), leaking exclusive gameplay videos (requires an internet connection which costs money), and et cetera.
by saying “Vote Kiwilate 2025. Vote different. Waste different.” aren’t you implying that by voting for Kiwilate 2025 you’re wasting your vote?
No, we’re merely providing different ways to waste money - ways that involve making waffles (requires ingredients which cost money), leaking exclusive gameplay videos (requires an internet connection which costs money), and et cetera.
by saying “Vote Kiwilate 2025. Vote different. Waste different.” aren’t you implying that by voting for Kiwilate 2025 you’re wasting your vote?
if i get elected, we’ll leak this random parappa the rapper 2 gameplay video that @late sent me on discord one year ago for no reason
the public must know how great the parappa the rapper franchise is
#KiwiLate2025
i don’t condone voting with alts, but i do condone voting for #kiwilate2025!
a vote for me and late is a vote for squashing cryptocurrency shilling, petitioning to have the heart icon with a waffle icon, and adding this historical artifact of a video to the library of congress for preservation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFwXbp9bLlY
election results so far
the race has not yet been called by the ap
edit: this post is now outdated please find the new one
