@kiwi
tl;dr: “yo im leaving wasteof, i actually like touching grass, still available on discord, cya” (paraphrased by @late)
Due to numerous personal factors, I have made the decision to leave wasteof.money, and the public-facing internet at large, indefinitely.
I initially didn't plan on making any kind of announcement because I didn’t want to come across as attention-seeking or performative in my decision. But honestly, leaving people in the dark feels like it’d create an adjacent problem, so I hope this can suffice.
You can continue to contact me in a few private spaces (Discord: kiwi.two, Steam: kiwitwo), or you can leave a message here for the time being. In theory, the only remaining public-facing places I plan to be active are YouTube (youtube.com/@kiwi-two), my currently in-development website (idk lol), and a couple of extremely niche places literally no one cares about. The ultimately unconstructive crapposting you’ve seen here is going to stop for a long while, however.
Just know that I'm doing well in real life and I intend to part on good terms. Having that forced two month break from wasteof honestly did wonders for my mental health so I’d like to keep that up. Ultimately, real life is something I'd like to spend more time enjoying, and this decision reflects that goal.
I hope you guys understand my decision, thank you for the laughs. I did learn quite a bit from my time on here and I’m not going to forget that any time soon.
dwane the rock johnson as burrito
m0istcritikal as noodles
andrew garfield as the CEO of Lidl
tom scott as auriali
j g quintel as esben
nicholas cage as leaks
the wasteof.money movie (2026)
an epic political drama about the never-ending fight to allow the common moneywaster their fair share of waffles and autism
starring the following overused actors:
chris pratt as king @jeffalo (obviously)
adam sandler as president @kiwi (he will say a ton of things that will leave the audience wondering if that was supposed to be a joke, in other words it’ll be business as usual)
jack black as vice president @late, who will say all your favorite late lines (“i… am late”, “this… is appel”, “first we late, then we theidiot. let’s latetheidiot!”, etc)
awkwafina as the @wastedonion (like the entire corporation, not just one reporter, oh also she’ll have a musical segment where we all get to listen to her grating voice for two minutes and we all have to hope they’ll skip it on the soundtrack vinyl release)
hatsune miku as @ilovetimhortons (don’t think any further details are necessary)
budget will be $150,000,000, but most of that will be allocated to giving the crew members free double quarter pounder with cheese combo meals
actual movie and marketing budget will be 10 cents and a dream
film will be released unrated, not because it’s inappropriate or anything, but because the MPA didn’t want to slog through this
in theaters nowhere!! soon!!! but not really! i hope not!! i don’t wanna commit to the bit this much but i may have dug a grave for myself by making this post so i might have to lie in it now!
The wasteof.money Movie will NOT be released on June 12, 2026.
…but if someone wants to prove me wrong for once, I won’t stop you.
president’s log of australia: day 11
thought i maybe saw a kangaroo today, but it was pretty far away
searching for your own username in a discord server to see what people had to say about you years ago is a scary experience, i do not recommend it
the wasteof.money movie (2026)
an epic political drama about the never-ending fight to allow the common moneywaster their fair share of waffles and autism
starring the following overused actors:
chris pratt as king @jeffalo (obviously)
adam sandler as president @kiwi (he will say a ton of things that will leave the audience wondering if that was supposed to be a joke, in other words it’ll be business as usual)
jack black as vice president @late, who will say all your favorite late lines (“i… am late”, “this… is appel”, “first we late, then we theidiot. let’s latetheidiot!”, etc)
awkwafina as the @wastedonion (like the entire corporation, not just one reporter, oh also she’ll have a musical segment where we all get to listen to her grating voice for two minutes and we all have to hope they’ll skip it on the soundtrack vinyl release)
hatsune miku as @ilovetimhortons (don’t think any further details are necessary)
budget will be $150,000,000, but most of that will be allocated to giving the crew members free double quarter pounder with cheese combo meals
actual movie and marketing budget will be 10 cents and a dream
film will be released unrated, not because it’s inappropriate or anything, but because the MPA didn’t want to slog through this
in theaters nowhere!! soon!!! but not really! i hope not!! i don’t wanna commit to the bit this much but i may have dug a grave for myself by making this post so i might have to lie in it now!
The wasteof.money Movie will NOT be released on June 12, 2026.
…but if someone wants to prove me wrong for once, I won’t stop you.
president’s log of australia: day 10
went bowling yesterday
the whole experience vaguely reminded me of day job, the hit 2024 australian adult animated web series created by paul georghiou
in which the main characters work at a bowling alley
and it’s set in australia
crazy
jeff going to college in canada is actually a cover up of him getting to be with ilovetimhortons
president’s log of australia: day 9
thanks to my parents’ interesting car song choices, i now subconsciously associate weird al with this country
i’m not complaining though
president’s log of australia: day 8
it just occurred to me that i haven’t taken any pictures so i have no actual evidence that i’m in this country
anyway, for those not in the wasteof discord or a certain other place, i went to the beach yesterday
if you can’t read my mediocre handwriting (and i don’t blame you), it says “wasteof.money - graciously funded by the kiwi-late administration MMXXV”
now this entire country is blessed with the knowledge of wasteof
…i now realize that this advertisement may have been in poor taste, so to redeem myself i may or may not be writing “rip tallpeter” in the sand the next time i visit the beach, idk, we’ll see
i just got back from an event thing where the old guy running the projector decided to exit full screen on the video we were watching even though everything was working completely fine, changed literally nothing after exiting full screen but kept hovering over the “windows ink workspace” button for some reason, accidentally clicked a random youtube recommendation, then a youtube ad that blared “WATCH WHAT EGGS DO TO YOUR BRAIN” at full volume came on
it was great
president’s log of australia: day 7
still haven’t seen any kangaroos yet, therefore i’m still not fully convinced that this country exists
“unfortunately, you’re allergic to the letter e”, said the doctor
“oh,” said the patient, and then he died immediately afterwards because basically the doctor got it wrong and he was actually allergic to the letter o